OctoMom vs. Kristen Johnston

July 9, 2011 / Posted by:

After destroying nerves with their Chaotic Circus of Toddlers act on Today yesterday morning, the OctoKids repeated their performance at JFK last night and apparently they took shit up a few notches. Just imagine that you’re sitting on an airplane that’s already 2-hours delayed and you’ve got a soul-killing symphony of 8 screaming chirruns in business class losing their shit. That makes sitting on a seat of spikes next to a broken toilet on a hot Chinatown bus headed to the 9th circle of Hell seem like a first class orgasm. Kristen Johnston was on that flight and did what anybody with a sense of hearing and an empty bottle full of Valium would do, she got in Octo’s face.

TMZ reports that Kristen told Octo to stick a pacifier made of STFU into her kids’ mouths or dress them up in dog costumes so she can transport them in a crate down below. No, she didn’t say any of that, but she did tell Octo to mute them STAT. The rest of the conversation went something like this:

Octo: How would you like me to keep eight 2-year-olds quiet?

Kristen: Get more help!

Octo: Why don’t you grow a baby and get a life!

If the sound of 8 screaming toddlers was enough to cause a loss of cabin pressure forcing masks full of weed smoke to drop above all the seats, Kristen would’ve stayed. But that didn’t happen, so she busted out of there and took another flight. Octo’s only response was: “I guess some people don’t like kids.” No, you insane fucking loon, ALL people don’t like being trapped in a metal bubble filled with baby hellion yodels!

Oh, and “Grow a baby and get a life, bitch!” is my new favorite go-to insult.

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