The Royals Have Arrived (Try To Give A Shit)!

July 8, 2011 / Posted by:

Prince William and Duchess Kate flew into LAX today and they were immediately greeted by some ho who gave her an FTD patriotic bouquet leftover from a Fourth of July barbecue. (I see the yellowing. Don’t try to fool, bitch.) Kate Middleton wore some dress that I’m sure will sell out in three min – it’s sold out – and she quickly changed into the L.A. uniform of choice: UGGS, ripped denim shorts, a white tank top and a Burberry scarf.

Later tonight, they’ll all pile into a Range Rover to drive 4 hours in traffic to get to a Starbucks 5 miles away for Frapps and a bathroom break. Then they’ll eat the flashes of the paps at the Look At Me Cafe with Chicken Cutlets before dancing on top of Kim Kardashian’s ass until they get really tired and have to check into rehab for exhaustion.

Welcome to America!!!!

By the way, doesn’t Kate know that when you come to somebody’s house you should always bring a hostess gift. Would it have killed her to bring a half used Glade candle, a 3-pack of wine coolers, a tub of barf wipes (the perfect hostess gift, honestly) or a greased up and naked Prince Hot Ginge?! And she calls herself a lady of manners. RUDE!

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