You Can Leave The Hat On
Yesterday was Prince William and Duchess Catherine's second to last day in Canada and three major things happened: Will and Kate wore big ass white cowboy hats that were almost bigger than their big ass white molars, the fart from the wind pushed up Kate's dress which almost revealed the "Property of The Queen" brand on her upper ass cheek and the rotten piece of bitter flesh in my chest nearly burped up a beat when Kate met with a young cancer patient. But first, the hat!
Prince William doesn't do shit for me. Looking at him feels like getting teabagged in the eyes with a pair of wet, cold, used Earl Grey bags. My eyes make the same expression they'd make if I was eating a soggy crumpet out of a bulldog's ass (cut to this face). But what do you know? Throw some Brokeback Mountain on his body and suddenly I'm neigh-ing like Camilla when Prince Charles comes prancing into the room dressed up like a Tampax Pearl. Don't get me wrong, my genitals still pledge the allegiance to Prince Hot Ginge, but Prince William has got me rubbing my moustache (aka pubes) at this interesting development! He should just glue that hat onto his head, because it's doing something right for him. Now on to the Kate and the young cancer patient....
6-year-old Diamond Marshall, who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last year and lost her mother to the disease when she was 18-months-old, met Kate Middleton in Calgary with help from the Children's Wish Foundation after she wrote this letter:
July 8th is the day it is revealed to me that a letter from a cancer patient on pink paper is my Kryptonite. Yes, you've got something in your eye. Just tell your co-workers that you've been shooting heroin into your eyeballs in the bathroom again. Or tell them your eyelids are sweating because you exhausted yourself from choking out a kitten earlier. You have a reputation to uphold!
And long before Pippa Middleton flies little Diamond to London and takes her to lunch to Princess Diana's favorite restaurant?! Pippa will not be topped!
• 
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That is extremely good writing for a six-year-old. Many kids that age can't read or write (unfortunately) I'm a tutor and most kids who are eleven can't spell all of those words right. I'll try not to be skeptical and say maybe she copied it after telling someone she what she wanted to say?
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I am the ultimate cynical bitch but Im sorry -when she bent down to dear little
Diamond,my frozen cynical heart softened and she looks completely natural in fact dare I say there was a touch of Diana there-who for all her instability really had a way with people….
With all the useless vapid Kardassian/ Hilton/Lohan etc etc types around- its nice to see some class and Duchess Catherine here has it….
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
Again, don't mind these two royal whores. They can rock the cowboy hats til the cows come home. They iz trying. They iz in love. No better combo.
TEAM LOVE.
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"...How I feel?...Your heart rate is jacked; your hand, steady...I haven't slept for fucking weeks...and you're going to, what, you're going to close my file?!...You're fucking ridiculous." -Billy Costigan, The Departed
They should never wear cowboy hats again.
Cowboys should all be herded into Texas. And give Texas back to Mexico.
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About this being "PR" sometimes your cynicism can blind you. Something can be both meaningful and good for image. It's possible that Kate sat in her pentagram and asked Satan how she might best mock the human condition to her own benefit, but what probably happened is that letter moved people, and when it was presented to her, maybe inside her dark soul of trickery, her first thought was, "I can capitalize on this," but I really doubt it.
Trying to figure out how everything is false, a conspiracy, and a lie (I smoked some weed called Woody and Buzz so bear with me) creates a "reality" where in your mind everything is false and a lie. Yes, everything IS an illusion and we do create our own reality, and what you draw form this story is a reflection of yourself. I don't think anyone who reads this blog is blind to the ways of PR, but once you figure out that everything is a lie, step back again and see that there's some truth in it.
We all thought about this child and a lot of us felt real compassion and in that sense what Kate did in meeting this girl is real and very powerful. People all over the world, at least hundreds of millions will hear this story, and that's pretty big, however cynical you are.
Waity's ok with me--she's pretty, if too thin--and has class. So what if it took him nine years to marry her--she's a credit to him and he seems to realize it.
Submitted by Grandma_Wrinkles on Fri, 07/08/2011 - 2:26pm.
She also sold off items around KP (like they would miss that shit) and gave the money to prostitutes and homeless people. She was one of a kind, and unlike this one ^^^, didn't have any airs about her (Waity and her wannabe Sloane-y ass has only done something charitable like this once in her 9 years and in front of the world's press, of course).
Kate is a goddess.
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I'm not even into this " royal " fuckery but she's always flawless and perfectly poised.
Sure it was a planned PR move, but that little girl doesn't know that. She got to meet her "princess" and she was very nice to her. that's all she knows and that's all that really matters in this case. So good job Kate and William.
Aww I like them, they're sweet. They really haven't done anything to deserve vehement hate from strangers.
Is that dumb bitch Kate so fucking stuck-up that she doesn't even know that her high-priced pussy is damn near exposed when she gets blown by the wind? I would enjoy watching her handle a very large penis...I love thinking about her as a hot dirty slut, but unfortunately, she's probably a frigid dead fish in bed ha ha.
Every now and again, for the briefest moment in time, the Royal family are marginally less than completely pointless.
Little Diamond is adorable.
Submitted by Neurotic on Fri, 07/08/2011 - 5:09pm.
OMG, someone I agree with.
I felt so alone until reading this! What the fuck is up with the royal adulation?
I must be ill or not belong to the human race, because really wish these people would go away.
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Count me in. Actually, I always thought most people felt like us. I just assumed! When I was in high school, I went to England for a summer study program. Talking with a British lady one day, I just happened to say, "Yeah, the royal family is on the way out. What an archaic institution." Something like that. Maybe slightly nicer but that's what it amounted to. I wasn't trying to be mean or disrespectful. I just thought the common British person saw it, too. OH, WOW. Did that lady get MAD at me. Yeah, I realize I was every reason Europeans hate Americans rolled into one... but c'mon. The friggin royal family? That's just one of the reasons we might hate you back! The French are cooler than you, ENGLAND!
Submitted by the_hot_chick on Fri, 07/08/2011 - 2:18pm.
I love how the old man walking behind Waity when her skirt blew up didn't even try to help her. He's just stone cold staring at her ass. Lol!
I'm still not impressed with Waity. I doubt I ever will be. Will's a rich & bald man whose granny pressured him to marry asap, and she's a desperate gold-digger who clung to him like Kate Winslet did that door at the end of Titanic: a match made in heaven, but hardly worth my respect. She's no Diana, and the clothes don't change that.
To Whoever said their jobs where hard/exhausting: if they did this everyday, I could see your point, but Will & Waits will only do a few events per year, and spend most of their time on vacation, shopping, sailing, skiing, drinking, and being served by palace staff. Plus, they're the types to consider attending a formal dinner "work". I hardly count wearing a ballgown, drinking champagne, and eating the finest gourmet foods "exhausting".
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OMG, someone I agree with.
I felt so alone until reading this! What the fuck is up with the royal adulation?
I must be ill or not belong to the human race, because really wish these people would go away.
If meeting a sick child is enough to get people on your side, then the public is an easy mark. It probably meant a lot to the girl to meet a "princess", but it was a pr stunt. PR reps chose the letter and child, and planned the event. Kate probably didn't know anything about it until she was reviewing her schedule with some personal assistant/valet.
This does not change my opinion that Waity is work-shy and a gold digger.
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
Sure it's PR on Kate's part, but the little girl doesn't know that. All she knows is she got to meet "Princess Kate" (so cute!) and she was happy; that's all that matters IMO. I don't care if celebrities do things for PR as long as the right people benefit.
They look ridiculous in those hats.
That letter...there's something in my eye...it sure is dusty in here...
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_u7VGiMO0U
My kryptonite, too. I love the line, "Do you wait to meet me too?" Precious. I'd rather wait to meet this child than any of these royals. William and Kate are just boring. That's one thing Diana never was, not even in her ingenue stage.
Where's that dlisted person that blesses things? GOD BLESS COTTON KNICKERS
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Wait. Thumbnail in the middle there. Is that her ass?
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.
Sweet story.
I will go on record in saying I do like Will & Kate. She's no Diana, but no one will be. Diana was one-of-a-kind.
You think we can stop talking about that POS Casey Anthony in every single post here? I'm sick to death of seeing her name or anything having to do with that shit.
I think this is incredibly sweet and that she took the time to meet with her brought a tear to my eye.
Breaks my heart. Kid with cancer, mother died when she was a baby. I can't think of anything worse than a child suffering. No kid should experience the ugliness of the world so young.
I can't hate on this.
If there's one thing I like about the Royals, is that Wills and Harry actually genuinely seem to give a shit about the common folk and seem very laid back considering the titles they hold.
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The proper pronunciation is 'bitch, please'. - Jana
Submitted by stake_spike on Fri, 07/08/2011 - 1:56pm.
I read that late at night after parties at Kensington Palace Diana would take left over food and sneak out of the palace to give it to homeless people. I mean that's class. And that's only one of the many selfless things she did in her life.
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Didn't know that about Diana. But I agree, she had something really special about her.
*******
"Yeah, I'm like herpes.......I disappear for awhile but you can never get rid of me!"
Submitted by mahaatma on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:48pm.
I love how the old man walking behind Waity when her skirt blew up didn't even try to help her. He's just stone cold staring at her ass. Lol!
I'm still not impressed with Waity. I doubt I ever will be. Will's a rich & bald man whose granny pressured him to marry asap, and she's a desperate gold-digger who clung to him like Kate Winslet did that door at the end of Titanic: a match made in heaven, but hardly worth my respect. She's no Diana, and the clothes don't change that.
To Whoever said their jobs where hard/exhausting: if they did this everyday, I could see your point, but Will & Waits will only do a few events per year, and spend most of their time on vacation, shopping, sailing, skiing, drinking, and being served by palace staff. Plus, they're the types to consider attending a formal dinner "work". I hardly count wearing a ballgown, drinking champagne, and eating the finest gourmet foods "exhausting".
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An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
Like the body of a 13 year old Filipino boy.
I still reserve my hate on this one. 9 years and this is the first time she's visited a sick kid, much less a child for that matter. She's got the ring and it's nice they're finally making her work for it. Still lacks the charisma and care of Diana though, who did shit even when the cameras weren't rolling.
I read that late at night after parties at Kensington Palace Diana would take left over food and sneak out of the palace to give it to homeless people. I mean that's class. And that's only one of the many selfless things she did in her life.
The only charitable stuff the Duchess Who Waits has done is fall on her ass in hot pants for a charity Roller Skate Disco that only her rich friends like the Bronson's were invited to. Spare me.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
P.S. Kate is hot.
*******
"Yeah, I'm like herpes.......I disappear for awhile but you can never get rid of me!"
Submitted by mahaatma on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:48pm.
PS: I love looks on the faces of the guys in the background.
This girl will never forget that. I hope she lives a long time to tell the story.
Meanwhile, in her swamp lair, Casey Anthony is duct-taping another baby to death with one hand and ordering bump-its online with the other.
Will seems to be packing...and Kate has a nice ass. MK wouldn't be blubbering in his beer so much if he'd stop watching the Lifetime Channel. Love Blanche and Jane Hudson.
"Sure, I like a cocktail every now and again. And the last I checked, it was now".
Submitted by stefystef on Fri, 07/08/2011 - 10:20am.
...
I tired of these two. Honestly, I change the channel when they are on. I AM AN AMERICAN!!! We kicked the British asses to NOT have to deal with these royal yahoos. And yet, here we are. Fussing over them as if the country didn't get rid of the monarchy over 200 years ago.
They are coming to Hollywood now. And we get to watch the American "royalty" suck major ass! ~gag~ What is the use of being free from the British if you are just gonna let their limey arses back in the country????
Please send those two and the Beckhams back ASAP!!!! Enough of the British Invasion.
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Don't you see? We kicked their asses and they're like our little pets to judge and love now, which makes it fun. (The monarchy, not the U.K.)
And Kate is genuinely likeable, I think, and slightly skinnier than I even WANT to be, which makes me feel great about her and myself. It's win-win, really.
But the real kicker in that story is that the girl's mother died from the same thing. Ugh! IT'S FUCKING DUSTY IN HERE, OKAY?
Omg. yeah, these allergies are really going around.
1)Thumbnail 5. I must be a real bitch cos the first thing I noticed were her skeletor hands. Those are not the hands of a 30yr old.
2) Kate has a nice upper thigh/backside area. No cellulite!
3) I had a very sexy dream about Prince Will's willy this morning. Very sexy...
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"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence."
- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)
those are some square manly hips...Katie's of course...I see Wills has the child-bearing hips n that family.
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"A hole's a hole as long as there's a little heat in there." - suckandfuck
"The dudes look plucked and pampered while the chicks look fucked and tampered. I love it." - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><
That just melted my cold heart, i wish i had seen this post before the fuckery at the top of the page
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Inside of every cynic is sunshine and rainbows just bursting to come out
Why the fuck are my eyes leaking after reading that shit! Bwahahaha @ MK...choking out a kitten. I LOL'd. I love the Indian dude giving major side eye. Fuck the British.
I agree with jazzfish_77.. damned allergies :)
Nice one MK.
Damn that letter. And now my allergies are acting up.
Even if its for the 2nd time, let me say it yet: this woman is anorexic as hell. I dont see a bright future for her and its not just related to her weight/health. Wait a second, the little one's called Diamond Ann and she was named after Diana? Diana, diamond, sorry, no connection. Whatever...
Prince Willy has a big tallywhacker.
I want to thank each of you who acknowledged thumb#14.
*passes out golden tickets, razors and cherry flavored lube...you will receive your prize and instructions at a later date*
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Hell, everything would be better with stick ponies-MK
Kate is very smiley.
acknowledgement of #14:
someone wants to perform a little pow pow on the prince's pee pee.
*peddles off in an '88 yugo*
"Do you want to meet me, too?"
Oh, my God - eyes are a'squirtin'.
So glad others picked up on the Barefoot Cuntessa contrast.
Sarah Smile
"But what do you know? Throw some Brokeback Mountain on his body and suddenly I'm neigh-ing like Camilla when Prince Charles comes prancing into the room dressed up like a Tampax Pearl."
THIS, my friends, is EPIC. MK is a fucking GENIUS. I only WISH I could belch out something that creative.
And I love these two! They are just the cutest couple! :)
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
The two of them are going to make one seriously long-waisted baby.
Submitted by urmomma on Fri, 07/08/2011 - 11:01am.
I am politely still waiting on someone to motherfucking acknowledge thumb#14.
Thank you for your cooperation. damn it.
:O)
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Acknowledge Begin: The Native lady looks like a fat version of the Land O Lakes butter Indian with Christina A. makeup. Acknowledge complete.
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Please get the fuck out ---->
Her body is nice. She looks good in jeans. The upskirt was in bad taste. Whomever took that was a douchebag. And Awwwwwwwww! Will looks good in a cowboy hat. I wonder how Harry would look. Hmmmmm*rubs chin*
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Please get the fuck out ---->
Someone should show this note to the barefoot contessa so she has ideas on what to do the next time a sick child asks to see her...
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...