Jerry Springer Wants Casey Anthony

July 8, 2011 / Posted by:

Nancy Grace is the only maniacal Botox beast crazy enough to bite through Casey Anthony’s chloroform-stained fingers and rip the smug smile off her face, so she should get the first interview but we all know the chances of that happening are about as slim as Jose Baez’s testicles after he victoriously fapped himself dry over the verdict. But since Nancy isn’t going to get the first interview, it should naturally go to Jerry Springer! Jerry knows this and so he has offered Casey Anthony and her family $1 million to spend 1 hour on his stage.

A source type tells Star Magazine (via Radar) that Jerry is trying to solidify himself as the master barker of the trash heap carnival by trying to book Casey, and apparently, she’s interested! The source said, “The offer was made to Casey’s defense team Friday. They are interested. The show would get huge ratings. The family will be presented with the offer shortly.”

Part of Casey’s defense was that she’s permanently damaged because her father allegedly child touched her and her ex-fiance said her family is a mound bat dingles wrapped in dysfunction, so Jerry would like to get them all together on his stage!

This just seems like the most fitting finale to the bubonic plague that is the Casey Anthony story. The final shot of the Casey Anthony mini-series (starring Dobby in a wig) should be of a metal folding chair flying towards her as she stands barefoot on Jerry Springer’s stage with a torn house dress, chunks of hair missing from her scalp and Stove Top Stuffing smeared all over her face. Basically, it should look like this.

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