Mimi Comes Out!

July 7, 2011 / Posted by:

Giving us shades of Hottie from Flavor of Love (thanks to that miso-glazed microwaved mop on her head), the Unicorn Siren of the Rainbows stepped out in NYC yesterday afternoon while answering the question: How many people does it take to escort a fragile teddy bear princess three steps to her apartment building? I swear, I’ve seen 90-year-old paraplegics handled with less care.

I know that Mimi gave birth to Baby Boo Boo Bee Doo and Baby Ishtar only 3 months ago and I also know that she’s had all of her human bones replaced with fairy cartilage, but this is a little thick on the much scale, dahling. Most lambs are out frolicking across thee fields just seconds after their young baaaaahs out of their vaginas, but this one has to be safely guarded like she’s wearing 9-inch stiletto platform heels made entirely of shellacked rain drops (which is totally possible, by the way).

Instead of using their energy to make sure Mimi doesn’t trip on the tiny sidewalks cracks, her handlers (Note: I’ve got fapping dibs on the one in the ebony tank, so DON’T!) should’ve punched themselves for putting her in a regular NYC cab. YES, Mimi sat on a seat that is mostly covered in the thick smegma that forms when various kinds of butt sweat marinate together. ILLEGAL! Just for today, I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they brought a stuffed animal carcass for Mimi to sit on so her immaculate nalgas wouldn’t have to mingle with the stank syrup of peons.

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