Just In Time For The End Of Wet T-Shirt Contest Season!

July 7, 2011 / Posted by:

The thorn in Nancy Grace’s Botoxed hair helmet was sentenced to 4 years in the chokey this morning for telling lies to the police about the disappearance of her 2-year-old daughter Caylee. But bitch will go from behind bars to dancing topless on top of a bar by the end of the summer!

Even though Judge Belvin Perry, Jr., who talks so slow that I was done emptying a cup full of dried molasses onto a table before he spit out 4 words, gave Casey Anthony a year for every count she was found guilty of, she will be given credit for the three years she’s already served. CNN reports that the judge, the prosecutors and Casey’s lawyers are currently working with the corrections department to figure out the exact number of days she’s served. It’s looking likely that she’ll be doing the celebratory Girls Gone Wild tit flash outside of the jail gates by the end of this month or early next month.

Casey Anthony really had it in her head that she was getting out today, right? Bitch was ready to go. Just look at that subtle Wino party hive on her head and that Tommy Girl sweater that’s easy to yank off as she goes in for her fourth morning mudslide at T.G.I. Friday’s. Bitch has even got her thumbs out like she’s ready to scoop out the last bits of a Jell-O shot from a plastic cup. Oh, well. I guess that multi-million dollar book deal, truTV dating show and paid endorsements from Disney World (take that, Universal Studios) will have to wait. Hey, don’t judge Casey! Bitch has got $4,000 worth of court fines to pay. It’s not like she can chloroform those fines and hide them in the swamp.

UPDATE: Bitch will be out on Wednesday.

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