Roland Bunce Does Not Want To Be The Next Kate Moss

Roland Bunce, the Hot Slut of the Day who looks like he should have five giant fingers next to his head, has unsurprisingly won Next’s “Make Me A Model” contest by a serious landslide!!!! Thanks to the Internet banding together, Roland B took first place with 66,000 votes and left all of the runners-up in a cloud of his ass dust. But sadly, the people’s supermodel does not want a life of getting hit on by Leonardo DiCatchAHo and doing lines of the bad shit (Roland would cut his with Bisquick) with Naomi Campbell in the mirrored coke room on Cavalli’s yacht. Roland was supposed to battle it out against 249 other model wannabes in the finals later this month, but he has rolled out of the competition due to haters trying to bully his beauty down. According to Metro, Roland wrote this on his Facebook page:

“Just to let you all know I am quitting the Next Model contest.

It was a big honour to win and it’s been fun but the amount of abuse I’ve been getting since Thursday is out of control and I’ve now just been threatened.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me but I am now bowing out before this gets any worse.”

Why in red hell fuck don’t the haters chase away models we really don’t need in the industry! Roland B is a star and has IT. How could you hate a man who has a head like Katie Holmes’ belly button and who can Super SMIZE your emotions with his eyes? Eff me with Naomi’s BlackBerry and pour me into Kate’s coke spoon, because this is sad. But I don’t think we’ve heard the last of Roland! A dude whose name sounds “Rollin Blunts” is definitely going places!