Nicole Kidman, Baby Faith, Sunday Rose and Keith Urban all blew through LAX this morning as a happy family, but there’s something terribly terribly wrong with this picture. Start on the left, now softly dance your eyeballs across the cloudy river of pastel pink cotton candy across the sparkly road of white gum drops, so pretty….so soft…so pretty…and then BAM! You’ll land directly on top of a whole lot of cig-stained, whiskey-scented black! This is not what Nicole Kidman had in mind!
Does Nicole have to lay out Keith’s white chinos, baby pink gingham shirt and oatmeal cardigan on the bed for him?! Does she have to write him a reminder note on her dry-erase board forehead in black marker to please change into his uniform before they leave for the airport so they can all look like they fell out of a J.Crew catalog together? Why is Keith fucking up their perfect picture?! I mean, Keith Urban already has the highlighted hair of a lesbian tennis player, so he might as well dress like one too.