And She's Worth Every Damn Penny
Detective La Toya was on The Talk yesterday to peddle her new memoirs and she dropped a story about the time her late ex-husband tried to sell her chocha to Mike Tyson. Let's play a game! The price tag on La Toya's nipple read one of the following:
a) Evander Holyfield's ear
b) a fleet of synchronized flying pigeons
c) $100,000
d) Joe Jackson's smug ass grin wiped from his face
The answer should be "b," because it would make so much sense that Mike Tyson is only turning himself into The Pigeon Whisperer so that one day he'll have a fleet impressive enough to win La Toya's down low giggle box. The answer is really "c." Yeah. La Toya said this about her abusive ex-husband Jack Gordon:
"Mike Tyson later told my mother and father and some other friends that he had told him that if he wanted to sleep with me he has to pay $100,000. I was in brothels and everything….he made me do Playboy twice and had me sit on the stage and say “Oh no, it was all my idea”…and I had to do that because I knew what he said he would do, he would do it.“
Now you will never hear me say that a wet rumble with La Toya isn't worth $100,000, but is she sure her mama heard right? Mike Tyson's got a lisp like Donald Duck with a burnt tongue, so maybe he really said "one hundred flighty pigeons." Because again, that would make sense on every level.
via The Life Files
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La Toya is the least talented in the Jackson family, and she knows it and the rest of the family knows it.She has had inferiority complexes all her life as a result. She will do anything for money and fame, and this usually means telling LIES.She will sell anybody to get what she wants. The sad thing is, that the media is still giving her the platform to persue her diabolic ambitions.She is incapable of telling the truth.She is a pathological LIAR, always has been,and always will be.
jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 4:06pm.
LOL at Spacey...
btw, I've been meaning to ask you, who's the crazy lookin bitch in your avie?
THAT WAS MEEEEEEEEEEEEE dancing in my avatar.
lol! Yes, I'm a massive douchebag too and my Elaine dance is betta den yourz!
I didn't realize it was Random Jackson-Family Ancient History Week.
Crystal Castles, Knights
OH Jackie you're so fine!
You're so fine you blow my mind....
hey hey Jackie!
Hey Jackie!
Oh Jackie you're so fine......
I guess you all get the point.
I loves me some Jackie!!!!!
*chanting as always*
Submitted by Beyotch Puhlease on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 7:04pm.
At least La Toya didn't go wild with the plastic surgery like her brother. You can tell she's had plenty of work but she still looks like a human being.
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I think she had plenty just to get back from "alien." As Tigerlilly said, she has more nose than she did a few years back. See http://img381.imageshack.us/img381/5656/young8196f7c6ur5.jpg
Is it just my fuzzy brain, or does LaToya's quote make zero sense. "I was in brothels and everything"? WTF?
LaToytoy reminds me of Tammy-Faye Bakker. Everybody disliked her when younger but later in life you decided that's one cool lady.
At least La Toya didn't go wild with the plastic surgery like her brother. You can tell she's had plenty of work but she still looks like a human being.
Bitch's nose done growed back....She had a snout that made M.J.'s look downright natural at one point...Now, her nose looks almost like a sista's should....I said almost. Go google what this bitch's nose useta look like before you get your panties up in a wad over here.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
This fucking show needs to be called the has-beens.
they had donny osmond on, fer chrike's sake. last time he was popular, was when i was buying tiger beat.
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What a friend I have in jesus, I can say that
honestly. He's not like all my other friends who really don't care about me.
This lady is all sorts of tacky...I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CAN'T!!! If her husband was really that bad, she should have just done what Tina Turner did to her sweet little brother Randy and unloaded on his ass!
"I make myself sick, Get on my own nerves. Immature, insecure,Grown up nerd."
-Fat lip (The Pharcyde)
LOL at Spacey...
btw, I've been meaning to ask you, who's the crazy lookin bitch in your avie?
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
ZiggyStardust on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 3:06pm.
Does every thread require a desperate attempt from Jack-in-the-Hat to prove that he's actually a straight guy?
Shit is getting old.
Zigster, I don't know what it is...I'm probably a masochistic sadist....but, I totally want to give jack a blow job after reading your venomous diatribe and I think jacko is a massive douchebag, so, that's really saying something.
*plugs ears readying for alt detonation*
*hopes Jack is not seriously considering censoring himself*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
talk about beating a damn dead horse...we got it for the millionth time your ex was a control freak asshole...and I will not be paying money to read this again...btw, her unwrinkly face but super old lady neck is freaking me out...why iron your face out but let the neck get all turkey-like...eat a damn sammich Detective LaToya..for chrissakes!!!
DWM girl...I think that was the point. But in the middle of those symptoms the transition into sessy times with mah-self was a complete wth so I don't know if it actually works. Seems like it could help tho IF u could get there.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by guest on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 1:58pm.
Grandma Wrinkles...I had a chiropractor tell me once that an orgasm will get rid of a migraine.
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Is that because of the constricted blood vessels in your head open up with an orgasm?
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 3:06pm.
Does every thread require a desperate attempt from Jack-in-the-Hat to prove that he's actually a straight guy?
Shit is getting old.
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the question was asked and I answered it... I'll try to keep it down.
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 3:31pm.
I'm trying to be more sympathetic/compassionate myself...I found myself being rather dogmatic lately, because I'm too tired to suffer fools lightly...in this case, I give thanks to my parents for the fact that I graduated to adulthood with my free will, spirit and ability to reason and question intact.
Submitted by ditquoi: "...people who endure physical, mental and emotional abuse from birth rarely achieve adulthood with their spirits and free wills intact. they say that if you're looking to bend someone to your will, find someone who's been abused."
Well, that's true. I partly take back what I said about LaToya because she was so messed up from her father, she didn't have the backbone
or self to even stand up to her husband.
I was being less than empathetic. Fortunately, that kind of nonsense is foreign to me.
I doubt any one would pay $100 thousand to sleep with her but it doesn't mean her ex didn't try and make a deal.
I know she's attention whoring now but apparently Daddy Jackson was happy to fix her up with a controlling man who reportedly beat her and isolated her, even forced her into marriage on threat of violence from him and hired 'body guards'.
The Jackson siblings are very messed up if you care to peer down that rabbit hole. There are tales of them going through the standard entertainment industry 'auditions' all watched over by their father. The bizarre mask like plastic surgery is just a symptom of what they were exposed to, i'm sure.
Does every thread require a desperate attempt from Jack-in-the-Hat to prove that he's actually a straight guy?
Shit is getting old.
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Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 8:13am.
Ziggy, I hope you fall off your soap box. Then people will pay attention... to the green alien blood.
I wish this dumb bitch would stop yammering away about a past that nobody but herself cares about.
You are not Michael. We aren't interested in you. We aren't interested in The Jackson Family. We are only interested in Michael. Whom you are not.
I don't believe that anybody forced her to do Playboy either.
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Submitted by SugarFreeRedBull on Sat, 06/25/2011 - 8:13am.
Ziggy, I hope you fall off your soap box. Then people will pay attention... to the green alien blood.
That seems highly plausible to me. Sounds like it was maybe meth or crack induced, too. I've heard of that happening with strippers and their drug addicted boyfriends.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 2:29pm.
ditquoi I think he's dead, MK, said "late ex husband"
good.
if there is a hell, his soul is on the stroll, covered daily in bukakke, and always gets tricked out of his money.
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by the way, it's entirely possible that LaToya believed that she was being forced to prostitute...people who endure physical, mental and emotional abuse from birth rarely achieve adulthood with their spirits and free wills intact. they say that if you're looking to bend someone to your will, find someone who's been abused.
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 2:17pm.
Jacky:
Were the nipple clamps for you?
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 2:19pm.
fuck no!!
OK WHO HERE ORDERED THE NIPPLE CLAMPS
Hekki on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 2:28pm.
I don't understand. Can your husband physically FORCE you to pose for Playboy? TWICE?
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Yeah, I mean, not to blame the victim and not saying Michael is required to support anyone, but . . . her brother had a security-guarded compound and more money than God. It's not like she had nowhere to turn for help if her hubby was really trying to pimp her. If Michael was supporting the obvious golddigger who had 4 Jackson kids with 2 Jackson brothers, I doubt he would have made LaToya stay in an abusive situation.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Even though I hate what she did to her once pretty face, I like LaToya. She's a lot smarter and not half as crazy as people think. Plus, she's earned her detective badge. Years ago, no one believed her when she swore that Phil Spector held her hostage in his home. If she had been taken seriously, maybe a life may have been saved.
Jack Gordon abused and pimped her out and took her money while doing it. So, it was sad to see on the Apprentice the way LaToya befriended Nene after Nene embarrassed and verbally abused her. Seemed that all LaToya wanted to do was to keep the peace. She seems prone to being abused and to try to make nice with the abuser. Guess that's remnants of having Papa Joe as a father.
Hekki on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 2:28pm.
I don't understand. Can your husband physically FORCE you to pose for Playboy? TWICE?
Just like when people say Cindy Anthony forced Casey to have her baby instead of getting an abortion like she had wanted to. Did her mother chain her to a radiator until she had the baby?
Bullshit on that.
Exactamundo.
Bitch wanted to ride the "Jackson" name fame because she was the "pretty" Jackson.
.
Puhlease.
I love to pose nude. I own it.
This cunt with her pathetic 'victim' shit is moronic on the megalomaniac angle.
Girl, listen, we are all born naked, if you want to pose naked...and you get paid bukko bux, good on your fine assed self, but, don't try and back-peddle and blame your flesh showing narcissism on your creepy assed choice of a husband.
So what? Your tittays and ass is out there for the world to see forever and a day. You know what that means? That means you live FOREVER, bitch.
Fucking enjoy it and stop complainin'
First poor Tito gets shot and now this.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
ditquoi I think he's dead, MK, said "late ex husband"
RIP JACK!
(waits for gaza waxstrip)
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 2:11pm.
NOT TO MAKE THIS POST ABOUT MY SEX LIFE BUT, I can say I've seen my fair share... the best was worth probably 10k, thank god it only cost me dinner at TGI Fridays and a trip to Adult World for a pair of 29.95 vibrating nipple clamps.
ETA: ^true story
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So how long after that did she become the 2nd Mrs. hat and are you still pissed that she got the vibrating nipple clamps in the divorce?
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
I don't understand. Can your husband physically FORCE you to pose for Playboy? TWICE?
Just like when people say Cindy Anthony forced Casey to have her baby instead of getting an abortion like she had wanted to. Did her mother chain her to a radiator until she had the baby?
Bullshit on that.
Gawd. This plastic faced, under-the-knifed wench needs to fucking shut it.
Tired of you, 15-minute over-clocked fame whore.
Bite it.
um...so she was all skeert for her life because her fearsome ex-husband would rain wife beating rage on her like locusts on the children of Egypt...to the point that SHE ALLOWED HERSELF to be prostituted, etc., etc...but she's not skeert anymore?
is this part of why they call her "detective"? did she dig up some shit so dirty on her that he has no choice but to leave him alone? did he die? does she have lots of big, menacing-looking bodyguards?
I think it's wonderful that she's free and living her life to the fullest...just wonder what happened to the terrorist ex-husband.
When Raul is hunt for fine ass ho's TGI Fridays is the place to go!
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
fuck no!!
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Jacky:
Were the nipple clamps for you?
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 1:56pm.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 1:54pm.
NO pussy's worth 100k.
How do you know have you seen them all
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NOT TO MAKE THIS POST ABOUT MY SEX LIFE BUT, I can say I've seen my fair share... the best was worth probably 10k, thank god it only cost me dinner at TGI Fridays and a trip to Adult World for a pair of 29.95 vibrating nipple clamps.
ETA: ^true story
_____________________________________________
Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
Grandma grabbed a 2 liter of Mountain Dew and went to play the slots.
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
LaToya is worth $100k alone for her heigth.
Wasn't she once married to that White Queen Liza Minelli married and divorced a few years ago?
Grandma_Wrinkles on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 1:51pm.
Wonder if her memoir spills what truly went on in the Jackson house. Or just more fluff and drivel. Because to turn out a bunch like that it had to be horrific beyond words.
OFF topic: Anyone know of a good natural remedy to cure a migraine headache? Pain relievers just make me more nauseated
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Off topic: Have you tried alternating between a warm compress and ice-pack on the area where it hurts most? Heat often feels really good and the ice should deaden that horrible throbbing pain. The combo of both should open up congested blood vessels and relieve some of the pain. Someone I know who suffers terribly puts her whole head under cold water in the shower for minutes at a time and she swears by it (same idea as an ice pack, I guess, but more aggressive)
The other natural remedy you can try is working pressure points. Right behind your ear lobes at the base of your skull, if you gently probe, you'll probably find an excruciatingly sore point. Apply firm pressure for 15 seconds and release and repeat several times. Even better: Find or pay someone to massage your head and neck.
Good luck Grandma. I share your pain. Literally.
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Then again Mike Tyson is into expense pussy, he did buy a few tigers to cornhole like Siegfried & Roy.
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Submitted by Bitingontinfoil on Wed, 07/06/2011 - 1:57pm.
I hate to admit this for more than one reason BUUUUTT...I actually liked her on Celeb. Apprentice.
Me too, but considering the rest of the cast I'm not surprised she seemed likable in comparison.
Hey! where did Grandma Wrinkles go all of a sudden?!?!?!?
LOLOLOLO ;p
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
@ Bjork You
Thanks. I'll try both. *runs off with a cup of coffee and a vibrator"
*******
"Yeah, I'm like herpes.......I disappear for awhile but you can never get rid of me!"
Submitted by mahaatma on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:48pm.
Could that $100k be a tax write-off, a deductible of some kind?
Grandma Wrinkles...I had a chiropractor tell me once that an orgasm will get rid of a migraine.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.