Like Father, Not Like Son

July 5, 2011 / Posted by:

Here’s 16-year-old Connor Cruise coming face-to-face with a pair of bare titties in Miami over the weekend. (For the NSFW version, click here.) The face Connor Cruise is making is the exact opposite face his dad Tommy Girl makes when he comes across lady chichis in the wild. If this was Tommy Girl, his face would contort into a glib seizure, the Thetans around his Scientolohole would throw themselves in Xenu’s volcano and his handlers would have to sweep in to cradle him close while whispering in his ear to go to his happy place. THIS, being his happy place.

Topless homegirl’s friend knows what I’m talking about. She’s definitely throwing a “Bitch, you’re braver than me. The last time I flashed a Cruise, his hos covered my tits with dick-shaped nipple cozies” side-eye. But they were safe around Connor who didn’t seem to mind that he was sharing breathing space with areolas of the female variety. Meanwhile, back at his hotel…

The Daily Mail has pictures of Tommy Girl with a pussy all over his face. Yes, it’s true that even Siegfried and Roy wouldn’t throw a treat at Tiger Girl, but it’s also true that looking at Tommy in tiger face is really making me with there was an animated children’s series called ThunderGays.

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