InTouch Weekly must’ve mistakenly interviewed a full-time Pete Burns impersonator who sometimes hires himself out as an OctoMom look-alike to parents of brat children who need to be scared with the threat of being wished into her dilapidated bunny uterus if they don’t act right, because the real OctoMom says that interview where she supposedly said that she hates all 14 of her asshole children is as fake as the baboon ass lips on her face.
In this week’s edition of InTouch, the ears of Child Protective Services started to burn when Octo allegedly called her kids “animals” and said that she regularly locks herself in the bathroom for hours to keep from offing herself. But Octo tells TMZ the interview never happened.
“I hardly have 30 seconds to go to the restroom, I could never lock my self in the bathroom for hours. I Love ALL my children, I do not regret them and it’s ridiculous that I have to continue to defend myself against these disgusting fabricated lies.”
It could be that Octo is the Sybil of famewhores and one of her 14 personalities said that mess, but I actually believe InTouch made it all up. Octo puts the CRAZY in crazy, but I doubt she hates her kids. That’s like White Oprah hating Lindsay Lohan, or Jennifer Aniston hating hair, or Amber Rose hating (NSFW) her own hairless cat, or RPattz hating on the likes of Nutty Madam. How can you hate on something that puts coins in your pocketbook and another minute on your relevancy clock?!