The Time Tina Turner Shot Randy Jackson

If you’re name is Randy Jackson and you’re not a judge on American Idol, you have to let the ESCANDALO flow off your tongue in order to summon the spotlight and Randy Jackson of the Jackson family did just that on Twitter yesterday. During a Twitter Q&A (I can’t) with his fans (I can’t: the sequel), Randy told a hilarious story about the time Tina Turner shot at him after he caught her and his girlfriend off guard. Well, if you want to get shot at by Tina Turner, simply tap on her shoulder while her tongue is visiting your girlfriend’s Nut Bush City Limits. Randy wrote this mess yesterday:

Yes, Tina Turner shot me. I have the scar to prove it.

Having said that, there was no violence on my part, nor have I ever owned or carried a weapon.

I went to Tina’s house to see my girlfriend. I guess I caught them off guard. Hmmm…. Next question.

It was in the Eighties. And I don’t hold a grudge against Tina, she’s a great artist an asset to our industry.

No, it’s not right to ever put a bullet in a bitch even if they spook you while you’re doing whatever it is you were doing with his girlfriend, but this is Tina Turner we’re talking about. Tina lived for years wishing that she had eyeballs glued onto the back of her wig so she’d know when Ike Turner was about to make her eat some cake or some shit! So you have expect that if you sneak up on Tina, her pistol is going to spit a bullet at your ass! If you’re ever going to throw Tina a surprise party, make all the guests wear helmets and a bulletproof vest.

And this story is the second best thing to ever come out of Randy Jackson. The first being Perpetrators, of course!