If you’re a crackhead on a budget, stand underneath Pete “Dreamboat” Doherty’s window tonight with your mouth wide open, because he will definitely be shedding crack-laced tears of sadness over his true love Kate Moss marrying Jamie Hince of The Kills (aka Count Von Count) this afternoon in Southrop, England after being together for 4 years.
Kate apparently wore a dress made by cartoon villain and Hitler pin-up bitch John Galliano. Yeah, those gold things on Kate’s dress are the fanciest Swastikas I’ve ever seen. Later tonight, they’ll all chop the dress into fine powder and snort it up. I don’t blame them, because judging by these pictures there are a lot of chirruns at that wedding. Why the hell does Kate have so many little girls dressed up as Midsummer Night’s Dream nymphs? This isn’t Shakespeare in the Park, bitch!
The guest list apparently includes Kanye West, Naomi Campbell, Anna Wintour, Stella McCartney and a bunch of other fashion people. Yeah, so that reception is going to be a blast. The waiters will serve them empty mirrors and they’ll all just snarl at each other while poking at the pastel coke balls in plastic swan cups. Sounds fun!