IT WAS THE HUMMUS!!!
When Lindsay Lohan came stumbling out of a Hollywood club early yesterday morning like a dozen booze bottles just ran a train on her mouth, we all knew she would put the blame on everything and everybody but herself. LiLo is not one to let us down, so she just done just that! Last night, Delusion gently cradled LiLo in its arms and softly padded her back so that she could burp this out on her Twatter:
Of course me going to my best friends going away dinner is a headline- especially on my first day out of my house in 35 days. That does not give anyone the right to have a field day and manifest stories. IT WAS A GOING AWAY DINNER, THAT WAS IT. Nothing exciting happened aside from the very yummy hummus and pita. If anyone caused me to nearly fall it was the pyschotic paparazzi.... off to the gym now- have a lovely day xo
LiLo also posted the picture above of her shoe, so just to recap, this drunk bitch is blaming: THE SHOES! THE PAPARAZZI! THE HUMMUS! THE PLANET for spinning to fast causing 5 hours to feel like 5 minutes! THE EVERYTHING!
Unless someone secretly switched bitch's shoes with a pair of flask heels with a syringe in the inset that injected booze directly into her foot veins (someone should invent this) or the chickpeas in the hummus came from Colombia, bitch just got drunk! But I guess saying the opposite of the truth earns her ass more time under the attention whore spotlight. Let's try it: I absolutely did not just fap to ginge-on-ginge porn in between nibbling on a breakfast Hot Pocket. My psychotic dog is manifesting stories again!
Nope, didn't work for me.
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Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 9:55pm.
Isn't hummus Middle Eastern?
Havin' some Greek hummus with roasted garlic. (The power of suggestion.)
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"if you're not wearing a shirt in your main facebook photo, you look like a douchebag. only trying to help you." (Brian Cano, SF, CA)
$10 says she hollowed out those shoes and filled them with illicit substances.
At least she picked up some skills in the slammer.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 12:27pm.
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I heard about it on News 12. I hope they find it soon. I will be down that way tomorrow.
(973) Jersey Strong
Submitted by little_rascal on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 11:04am.
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 10:36am.
She actually sounds like she still might have been drunk when she typed this. I wonder if she gave herself a full hour with the spell-check for it before she went to bed - I mean: took her morning nap. Becuz actually I've never really known her to spell every word right. Sometimes they aren't even close;p
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Tsk tsk, Angel, you missed "pyschotic paparazzi"
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O there it is! Oopsie!
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Lilo never fails to amuse. Yummy hummus. Should be the title of a song or a stage name for a comic.
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I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.~Mae West
As delicious as that shit can be... hummus is not to be trusted?
FECK OWF
Now.. the flask-heels story, I'll buy.
Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 12:27pm.
This bitch again :-/ I'm just cranky because I actually will be on (sort of) house arrest this weekend -I'm afraid to BBQ outside because there's a God damn baboon loose in my town. The local safari "can't confirm" it's theirs. Must be one of those baboons indigenous to central New Jersey. Morons.
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Don't worry, it's just Snooki. She got lost on the Parkway.
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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
This bitch again :-/ I'm just cranky because I actually will be on (sort of) house arrest this weekend -I'm afraid to BBQ outside because there's a God damn baboon loose in my town. The local safari "can't confirm" it's theirs. Must be one of those baboons indigenous to central New Jersey. Morons.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
A GOING-AWAY DINNER is what Lindsay herself needs. GO away and STAY away and take your elderly looking family WITH YOU.
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
I never should have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Bogart
"And Mother Always Told Me Be Careful Of Who You Love/ And Be Careful Of What You Do 'Cause The Lie Becomes The Truth"
Lyrics of "Billie Jean". Life of Lindsay Lohan.
Submitted by guest on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 11:44am.
Ese...is there any outside chance she could be incarcerated somewhere other than florida or no?
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that's a question.... does this qualify as federal(death penalty), or is it still under FL state prosecution?... i'm not following the actual trial all that closely because my common sense told me that she's guilty, and i gave up after that, but if she goes state conviction, she goes to Lowell.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Last Friday, we had a guy stagger into our friday night AA meeting. when asked if he was alrite, he replied, "I was bit by a spider."
I nearly died ( very mean and unAA of me, but bitch, come on) and I thought of blohan right away.
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What a friend I have in jesus, I can say that
honestly. He's not like all my other friends who really don't care about me.
Ese...is there any outside chance she could be incarcerated somewhere other than florida or no?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Easy, she was photoshopped to look wasted.
Submitted by Pamela on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 11:24am.
Did they make her face look all shades of wasted to? Thats some magical shoes right there!
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"if there is one thing I like more than suckin dick, it's whoopin ass" POW! overheard by bambam
Submitted by guest on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 11:31am.
ESE...do tell! That'll be epic.
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every female offender in the state of Florida goes to Lowell C.I. when they go to prison to be, at the least, "processed"... i know a bunch of women at Lowell C.I. work camp/main unit/annex... it should be all kinds of interesting to get reports on the how/what/where/ goings on in CA's "life" when she arrives.
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Is pita the plural of (the singular) pita? I've never had cause to use the word, but I'd always assumed the plural form was pitas. Or is Linds stating she only consumed one?
ESE...do tell! That'll be epic.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Spicy jalapeno hummus from Fresh & Easy is the BEST hummus EVAH!! :D
Like I said...those shoes are from like 10 years ago...and FUGLY too.
+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+
"If when you die you get a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick but if not mmmboy!"
Did they make her face look all shades of wasted to? Thats some magical shoes right there!
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Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
"like a dozen booze bottles just ran a train on her mouth"
Poetry. Pure poetry.
riiiight. A going away dinner. Until the wee hours of the morning. I barely drink and I think I would need something after an hour or two in a club.
Those platforms must be some vintage 70's designer crapola. Dr. Drew please save her.
I must say she looks rough for 25, and I want the
exact same hummus she had...
___________________
'Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now'-BK
Submitted by guest on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 11:07am.
the only part of this whole CA thing that is intriguing to me is... i know a bunch of ladies that are gonna meet her if/when she gets sent up... oh, it's gonna be stories to report to dlisted, i tell ya!!
OT: do e-cigs have the capacity to hold crack?
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
OMG the roasted garlic hummus...SO GOOD!!! yeah, ok.... what else is this post about?????
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
And what kind of hummus is that, because I really need to try it! If it gets a Blohan lit, it'll have me on the floor.
Bitch, please.
No one in LA eats dinner at 11 pm!
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Linnocent "Craken" Blohan is on the loose! Again.
Delusional bitch. The shoes made you look like a crossed-eyed lush too? Hmmmm, blame it on the shoes but never take fuckin' responsibility for your addiction. Classic Blohan.
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"Yeah, I'm like herpes.......I disappear for awhile but you can never get rid of me!"
Submitted by mahaatma on Tue, 06/28/2011 - 2:48pm.
ESE....so true.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by guest on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 11:00am.
*Butz into trial convo* they said one juror was throwing their head back just exasperated over the recess. Now they're going to vote guilty really fast just to get the hell outta there.
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meh, "get the hell outta there"/"she's fuckin' guilty as all hell anyway"... same difference!
OT: gimme a minute... i'll think of something... wait!... freckles!... yep, that should do it!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by angel_i on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 10:36am.
She actually sounds like she still might have been drunk when she typed this. I wonder if she gave herself a full hour with the spell-check for it before she went to bed - I mean: took her morning nap. Becuz actually I've never really known her to spell every word right. Sometimes they aren't even close;p
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Tsk tsk, Angel, you missed "pyschotic paparazzi"?
*Butz into trial convo* they said one juror was throwing their head back just exasperated over the recess. Now they're going to vote guilty really fast just to get the hell outta there.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
JESUS FUCK KOKO! I only needed ONE update! LOL
Submitted by Liana on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 10:50am.
how, exactly does one manifest stories?
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Pathological liars are professionals at this.
koko's VERY passionate about this trial today!!... or she's drinking much too much coffee this morning!.... i'm kidding, koko!!LOL!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Weezy...yeahhhh Chef makes it all professional like cuz he put a hat on it. Bwha.
Bof Sucky & Snowy are REPORTED for using black & gay. I swear. *humph*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
the suspense of how this wet fart is going to die is growing.
it'll be violent, bloody and with no lingering mystery, no vigils or tears and yet many parties will instantly erupt.
on a more serious note, i don't see this sloppy cunt working a major film again. ever.
-like a bitch in heat, i seem to attract a coterie of policemen and sanitation officials. -JKT
*
@
Submitted by M.E. on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 10:49am.
OT- KOKO- what's going on with the trial?
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I woke up to Jose bitching about the prosecution witnesses....something about how "it wasn't fair, he needed more time" and the judge was SUPER PISSED and said "I hope this is a real problem and not an imaginery problem" and hinted there would be big trouble if Jose was pulling some stunt...so the court is in recess INDEFINETLY.
ON TOPIC:
I wonder if Lindsay's "friends" tell her her hair looks good that awful color because they want her to look so bad to make themselves look better ? Oh and going to the gym is going to get detox meds for the day...
!
oh my god quadruple post sorry !
Submitted by cripbabe on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 10:51am.
now, now, kids - let's not go jumping to conclusions. let's say it's your first day out after 35 EXHAUSTING days of throwing in-house parties and having your hairdresser come to you to redo your weave while you're on the roofdeck of your Venice Beach pad, wouldn't you blame your ugly-ass shoes and a hummus and pita dinner out too?
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Don't blame it on the sunshine
Don't blame it on the moonlight
Don't blame it on the good times
Blame it on the hummus
now, now, kids - let's not go jumping to conclusions. let's say it's your first day out after 35 EXHAUSTING days of throwing in-house parties and having your hairdresser come to you to redo your weave while you're on the roofdeck of your Venice Beach pad, wouldn't you blame your ugly-ass shoes and a hummus and pita dinner out too?
how, exactly does one manifest stories?
Submitted by islandgirl on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 10:48am.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 10:44am.
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http://item.slide.com/r/1/126/i/ZmMjRtul3T8VN40IE89ysw8bPVzhsPYa/
^^^^^^^^^
I think the real question here is which is more appalling: The dress or the carpet she standing on?
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Next time you want to talk to me, you call my lawyer. He's in the phone book under "Fuck You."
Submitted by ZiggyStardust on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 10:44am.
Lindsay hasn't made a "headline" in years.
She could drop dead tomorrow and the story would sit below funny animal videos.
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to be fair... funny animal videos are a hell of a lot more interesting... especially if said animal story is about a bear mauling Lohan... see?!... she could still get top billing!!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
OT- KOKO- what's going on with the trial?
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/01/2011 - 10:44am.
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http://item.slide.com/r/1/126/i/ZmMjRtul3T8VN40IE89ysw8bPVzhsPYa/
hummus is god.
therefore, i find Lindsay believable.
oh wait, no i don't.
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"End well: this isn't going to." - MK