Lindsay Lohan Is Drunk Again

June 30, 2011 / Posted by:

It’s time for Delusion vs. Fact!

Delusion: Seconds after Lindsay Lohan was thrown back into the wild after completing house arrest, she told friends that she was going to have a quiet night at home with the Curious Case of Ali Lohan because she didn’t want to face the paparazzi.

Fact: Hours after Lindsay Lohan was thrown back into the wild after completing house arrest, she did the drunk bitch stumble while leaving Lexington Social House early this morning with Emile Hirsch and Lyndsy Fonseca from Nikita. The paps say Blohan was in there for 5 hours. I guess she realized that the best way to face the paparazzi is with a charbroiled drunk face.

White Oprah is going to try to say that her precious child was merely spending some quality time with her friends and she only sipped on alcohol-free bottled water, but come on. If it looks like a drunk bitch, stumbles like a drunk bitch and droops its eye like a drunk bitch, it’s a Lohan! I mean, who sits inside of a club for 5 hours while staying in a state of soberness? That’s like putting me in front of a wall of waving dicks and telling me to keep my mouth shut. It’s not in the real of any possibilities. Bitch had herself a booze bukkake orgy on her tongue and we all know it. Here we go again…

Ho is like the drunk cokehead version of Groundhog Day. LiLo wakes up, sees the shadow of a half-full bottle of Jack, downs it and BOOM! We’re off again. Get drunk, snort a line, steal some shit, end up in court, get a slap on the wrist, vow to change, cackle at the justice system, get a 50th chance, get drunk, snort a line…. Tale as old as ho’s face.

Tags: ,
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >