Keeping It Klassy

There's not a lot of meat to this piece (the post or Tara) but I never pass up a chance to point and laugh at the sober and refined lady Tara Reid. Mostly because I'm JELLIZ of her many fans and glamorous, elegant, not bag-ladyesque-at-all lifestyle, as captured by this article in the New York Post.

Tara is in Atlanta right now shooting American Pie XXVI and was sashaying across the parking lot of a local Walgreens looking in no way broke-down, busted or used. She was just minding her own business, and pushing her little doggie friend Pasha whose collar is REAL AND NOT RHINESTONES thankyouverymuch along in a shopping cart, when she stopped to ask a couple of the local plebians where she could dine on fine Mexican cuisine.

Suddenly this Walgreens manager who obviously does not know WHO Tara Reid is showed up and demanded that she give them their cart back. RUDE! She informed him in a not-whiney-little-bitch voice that she was just borrowing it, but he said NO! they didn't have that many so she snatched her posh pooch up, threw her regal nose in the air and glided away in a huff.

I can't decide what is the best part of this scenario - that Tara has a job, that she was hijacking a shopping cart, or that she got owned by drug store manager. Why won't the Walgreens manager let Tara be great?? Tara, you show their ass and take your business to Dollar Tree next time where they know how to treat a lady of your stature!

Posted by: Sweetas

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Submitted by Whatever on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 8:50pm.

This drunk whore can't take care of herself yet she has a dog? Stupid.

Submitted by Centaurious on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 8:30pm.

I have my dog in the shopping cart all the time!

If I walk to the store, I borrow the cart to roll him home in.

I've even taken him into stores in the cart, covered with a dirty towel from my trunk if it's really hot.

He's like a corpse.

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GERONIMO!

Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 7:00pm.

Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 8:29pm.

Hey Loopy!! Don't suppose you're in a "beans spilling" mood?

Submitted by loopygorilla on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 6:59pm.

Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 7:42pm.

That is soo true! i just wish Tara and hohan can join forces and make a movie about strippers with a heart of gold.

Submitted by kittymuffin on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 6:47pm.

I stole one of those CVS red basket things you hang on your arm..by accident...I thought it was my bags

Submitted by becky n sydney on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 6:12pm.

She's got a job - one up on Blohan.
She had temporary custody of a shopping cart - two up on Blohan.

Submitted by Tigerlilly on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 4:45pm.

Walgreen's in the ATL ain't playin' wif they carts. They got some GPS on that shit. I ain't kiddin'. They post signs about how if you take a cart 10 ft. beyond the Walgreen's parking lot a pipe bomb will go off and they ain't legally responsible for yo' dead theivin' ass or any of yo' shit neither. (I'm paraphrasing the signs)...Naw, I'm for REAL up in here. Walgreen's DO NOT PLAY...case in point...if memory serves me correct, didn't Shia La Douche get his punk ass arrested at a Walgreen's? See? Walgreen's IS.NOT.THE.ONE. Okkkkkaaaaay?

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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 4:07pm.

babybunny I'll have you know I come from a long line of store managers DON'T JUDGE US! *REPORTED*
I KEED! :P

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 4:06pm.

Wait, Tara works where now? WallGreens?

LMAO @ Sucky and ahahaahhaha Jazzy! ahahahahahahgross!

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by babybunny on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 3:45pm.

I think most store managers like security guards in hospitals, etc. are disgruntled wanna be cops or real business men and the best they can be is some jacked up manager of some cheesy store..remined me of The Good Girl with Jennifer Aniston...the store managers of the world are like that...no real control but gotta front..the worse is security guards that just couldn't make it as a cop...man they are arrogant. I love TAra, I know she is a mess, but I just saw the Big Lebowski on cable, and she is good in that...not a big role for her but a Tara role for sure....

Submitted by angel_i on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 3:00pm.

I can't decide what is the best part of this scenario - that Tara has a job, that she was hijacking a shopping cart, or that she got owned by drug store manager
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Hmmm...decisions decisions. I call a tie.

♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too

Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 2:34pm.

I live in Atlanta, why didn't I get a chance to witness this?

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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

Submitted by babybunny on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 2:15pm.

Tara, the professional drunk and poser...tittays and all...still hasnt' racked up the bazillion charges that Hohan has...a wreck and white trash fer shure...but too stupid to really hate...just a stupid drunk slut...no hate to be had there.

Submitted by KA on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 1:40pm.

i dont understand this one. if she was at walgreens walking across their parking lot then why cant she have a shopping cart? something is missing maybe im just dumb today.

Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 1:27pm.

Fuck. This whore is still alive?

Submitted by DeeDee on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 1:22pm.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 2:17pm.

I like Tara. No pretentious BS about winning Oscars and being an actOR.

She's a drunk and damn good at it.
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Yes! And no drag-a-long fame whore parents, either.

Submitted by Kerfuffles on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 1:03pm.

Brittany Murphy was in a better state than this mess when she died. I'm just saying.

Submitted by WhiskeyTango on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:56pm.

American Pie 32,129,211: Everyone Has Syphilis.

Still doing better than Lindsay, though!

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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:54pm.

Such KLASS! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:51pm.

Submitted by Raul Duke on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 2:03pm.

Raul heard she got the doggy chew toy tittays fixed
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wrong thread. that topic belongs in the "my bra size is...." and "my boobs are...." Christina Hendricks thread. :)

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I don’t need all those things that used to bring me joy
You make me such a happy boy (oops- lol)
And honey you’ll always be the only for me
Meeting you was my destiny
-The Spinners

Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:47pm.

I like Tara. No pretentious BS about winning Oscars and being an actOR.

She's a drunk and damn good at it.

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Submitted by P.T.Bull on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:38pm.

At least they didn't call the mall cops. Moosed hair dudes with nothing but a mace on their belt who cowboy walk like marshall dillon...

Sweets--very tasty writing.

FYI--when it comes to shopping cart stealing, the canadian show Trailer Park Kids is pure gold...

PS. WTF kind of dog can't go for a walk on its own 4 legs? Even the littlest ones want to go faster than their owners.

Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:37pm.

How dare walgren's take away tara's cart...how do they expect her to carry around her garbage bags full of her stuff?
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Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent...

Submitted by Raul Duke on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:33pm.

Raul heard she got the doggy chew toy tittays fixed but doesn't know about the belly but she still looks like she smells like old lady purse.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.

┌_П┐(•_•)┌П┐__
I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:29pm.

Ahhh the original drunken mess...surprisingly, despite being older and just as much a drunkard, Tara still looks younger and fresher than Lohan.

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"A hole's a hole as long as there's a little heat in there." - suckandfuck

"The dudes look plucked and pampered while the chicks look fucked and tampered. I love it." - MK
·...¸><((((º>·´¯`·. ¸.><

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:27pm.

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 1:34pm.

Is her belly still...?

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Looking like a melted cheese grader..?

Submitted by Pure Trash on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:24pm.

I miss Taradise.

Submitted by Team Valtrex on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:17pm.

I'd still hit it.

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"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"

Submitted by oh dave on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:17pm.

what drug makes people wear coats in hot weather? I used to see this on "Miracle Mile" in Tucson, AZ.

http://soundcloud.com/burning_plastic
http://twitter.com/#!/burning_plastic

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:16pm.

Nice Jazzy. You win.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by guest on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:12pm.

Dirtay...a buggy?!?! Hahahahahaha! Haven't heard that in forever.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by Vermithrax on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:11pm.

"..whose collar is REAL AND NOT RHINESTONES thankyouverymuch"

Baaaaahahahah!

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:05pm.

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 1:34pm.

If she's going to dollar tree she is going to have to learn to call it a "buggy."
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But that's what she calls her crotch.

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:04pm.

Is her belly still...?

*shudders*

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:04pm.

If she's going to dollar tree she is going to have to learn to call it a "buggy."

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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by govt_cheese on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:04pm.

I can't stop lmao at the visuals that accompany this tale of whoa - Walgreenz is obviously cuttin down on crackies out in the parking lot lookin to score ... but I see down below here (another awesome visual), a Christina Chichis post. Must go!

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As useless as a saggy pair of tits

Submitted by Wanted on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 12:00pm.

Eleganza!!!!!!!!!

Please tell me that the drug store manager was a male-to-female pre-op tranny with perfect sharpie eyebrows and a prison tattoo. PLEASE.

Submitted by Anonymoussss on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 11:57am.

I thought this was going to be another post about Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 06/30/2011 - 11:57am.

LINDSAY: TAKE NOTES. THIS IS HOW YOU BECOME A SOBER SHINING STAR.

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.