David Duchovny And Tea Leoni Are Off Again
Remember back in 2008 when David Duchovny and Tea Leoni put their marriage on pause, because he had to check into rehab for sex and porn addiction? Remember when he got out of rehab you spent most of your days trolling fuck cam rooms and posting Craigslist "casual encounters" ads with a picture of you holding a "The Truth is Right Here, Mulder" sign over your punane? And then remember when David and Tea got back together a few months later, you had to retire both that sign and the dream of being David Duchovny's mug?
Well, break out the sign and do the "I'm a little Mulder mug" dance, because David Duchovny's vagina-addicted dick (Do we call it a coochhead?) is back on the prowl! David and Tea's rep announced last night to UsWeekly that after 14 years of marriage, the parents of two are going their separate ways for the second time.
David and Tea didn't use the "divorce" word and they also didn't say if his peen's addiction to random chochas or the fact that she was tired of catching him jacking it to Excel spreadsheets (the click and hide trick doesn't fool anybody) had anything to do with their split.
Sadly, this shit was bound to happen. I don't know anybody who could ever get used to their husband always reeking of burnt foreskin, shaft scabs and bloody penis tears. Oh, Mulder, why couldn't you keep it in your pants! Or at least put your pants over my head and kept it in there. That doesn't count as cheating. I looked it up.
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Looks like he's scratching his injection sites!
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His head is so far up his ass, it's actually popped back out onto his shoulders again.
I have had the hots for Duchovny for YEARS and that flame has never faded.
Yes! I'm in with a chance!
All jokes aside, I hope they can work it out. They tried once so maybe this separation will help them work things out again.
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 06/29/2011 - 7:21am.
That's too bad. I bet she got to the point in her life where she's like, "I'm too old for this shit."
I know lots of older women who would rather be alone than deal with a shitty man. Or, at least that's what they tell me. And I believe my mom.
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Sooooo true!!
*adopts Hekki's mom as drinking buddy*
I like them, so I hope they can work it out. I wish David was rockin' the fat laces with those Puma sneakers.
(973) Jersey Strong
I want to be his mug!!!!!
@@@ Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 06/29/2011 - 8:09am.
"Sex addiction" is just a fancy, medical-sounding way to say you have no respect for your mate. I might be mistaken, but you never hear of single folks with sex addictions.
That's exactly spot on! You just put an entire profession out of business, and rightfully so. People should stop making up excuses for their lack of character.
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Single people with sex addictions in reference to women are referred to as "Nymphomaniacs"
Single people with sex addictions in reference to men are referred to as "Men"
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(Although I'm no advocate of suicide, I wholeheartedly support homicide).....Artofwar
So this is the blind from the other day? Not Lord Ashton and Lady Demi?
Oh, Tea, come to me and I shall console you.*
*I'll just need to see a few recent close-ups first. kthnxbai
make up ur fucking mind already
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by MickeyHolland on Wed, 06/29/2011 - 11:45am.
hahaha. Thanks. 'Course, it's always OK to be addicted to sex. Just keep it at home.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 06/29/2011 - 8:09am.
"Sex addiction" is just a fancy, medical-sounding way to say you have no respect for your mate. I might be mistaken, but you never hear of single folks with sex addictions.
That's exactly spot on! You just put an entire profession out of business, and rightfully so. People should stop making up excuses for their lack of character.
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Who are you calling silly cow?
(Just remember, Cow Appreciation Day is July 15th)
Thanks Twat Muffin! Were having a date night tonight and going to see Paul McCartney on August 1 at Wrigley Field!
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
I never should have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Bogart
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Wed, 06/29/2011 - 7:22am.
And why is Almanzo Wilder from Little House on the Prairie sitting behind them? What fucking year is that foto?
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*snicker* That made me lol. Poor guy hasn't worked in years and could have got back in the spotlight and caused a Photo-bomb if he had made the "shocker" sign and stuck his tongue out, but noooo, he's still living like a good, old frontier-boy.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 06/29/2011 - 8:09am.
"Sex addiction" is just a fancy, medical-sounding way to say you have no respect for your mate. I might be mistaken, but you never hear of single folks with sex addictions.
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PREACH!
I still would. Have loved him for years and years.
I don't know who these two thought they were fooling.
They should have broken up a long time ago and they have been staying together just for the cameras.
Glad it is over. They were boring.
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All together now: FUCK MY LIFE. - The One-and-Only Michael K- 6/17/11
In that movie Fun with Dick & Jane seemed like she was running everywhere all the time. So funneh.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Wed, 06/29/2011 - 8:04am.
David is an elderly eastern-european-jewish homosexual who has had plastic surgery.!
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But are there nudez to provide verificatia of size meat?
what's wrong with porn?!!!did David cheat on her? I dont remember..but if he watched "normal" porn that is ok.
Coma Caca!
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He rocked as a transvestite in Twin Peaks. I like him as an actor yet. But Leoni is totally zero. No talent, no looks, nada de nada.
"David is an elderly eastern-european-jewish homosexual who has had plastic surgery.!"
LOL, Everybody knows he's Jewish, but really is he gay too? Or bi, or whatever? And I dont see any surgery done to him...
SLUTTSVILLE!
I thought I'd never see your nicotine-stained baby face again!
*sobs*
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"Somebody needs to glamour A CLUE into that trick." - Sociologist Michael K
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on Wed, 06/29/2011 - 8:04am.
David is an elderly eastern-european-jewish homosexual who has had plastic surgery.!
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I love Mrs Patrick Campbell. that is all.
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"I'm gonna end up back in the gutter, sucking meth for cock." - drunk Naomi in Still Waiting...
"Wrist full of colorful rubberbands!" - album reviewer extraordinaire Khia
quite fittingly...
http://j.mp/f89sny
*rubs eyes* MIGRAINEUSE...is that you?!?!
only ever saw Leoni in this, cliched chic flick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwrCZ_n4SLc
I don't think this is BI #2 from yesterday: The clues don't fit. You wouldn't call them a "celebrity couple"; they're actors. Their problems aren't her philanthropic activities or his partying lifestyle; they're his sticking his dick in anything it meets.
Besides, who's shocked by this separation? The only shock is her taking him back so many times when anyone with backbone would have shown him the door the 23d time.
RustyHooligan -- totally agree with you. If you truly love your partner, you can choose not to dick around on them.
ImpertinentVixen -- happy anniversary!
Had a mad crush on Mulder back in the day. He looks like absolute hell in that picture, and I despise "Californication."
Aren't their spawn named Kid and Play?
Post something new, MK!
I'm sick of looking at Guinea Pig Dude here.
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"Somebody needs to glamour A CLUE into that trick." - Sociologist Michael K
Keep your legs crossed=Best tip ever. Applicable to all areas of life.
"Sex addiction" is just a fancy, medical-sounding way to say you have no respect for your mate. I might be mistaken, but you never hear of single folks with sex addictions.
Neither one of them are sexy or interesting. NEXT!
Good! My turn! ;)
David is an elderly eastern-european-jewish homosexual who has had plastic surgery.!
Aren't all mirrors reflective?
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"Somebody needs to glamour A CLUE into that trick." - Sociologist Michael K
<"she was tired of catching him jacking it to Excel spreadsheets (the click and hide trick doesn't fool anybody) ">
Ah ha ha, that web site is great. "Don't have reflective mirrors behind you." Funny thing about looking at porn sites if that if someone walks up on you and you quickly click out the page or minimize, there was something WORSE that they had pop-upped behind it.
Turquoise and brown cowboy boots paired with a black turtleneck, oh yeah that's hot!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Did he bust a headlight outta his Porsche and roll in with Hank Moody style stink on his dick?
Submitted by Meatblocks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 12:16pm.
suckandfuck and raul are like the goofus and gallant of sick humor.
the best.
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Agent Mulder was one of my first crushes, so I have a soft spot for the dirty old bastard. Shame their marriage failed, but how could it not?
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
ahhh so this was the blind item from yesterday and we were all thinking it was Demi and Asston(typo, it stays)
Well..sorry it didn't work out.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
she has the mouth of a rodent and he sounds like jose baez.
if a celebrity couple breaks up without the media ... do they really break up?
-like a bitch in heat, i seem to attract a coterie of policemen and sanitation officials. -JKT
Is it wrong that I read this whole post only to see if it says anything about making a third X-Files movie?
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
are their rings tattooed on? sucks for them
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"Shit. Since when did sexting become a community college English class?" - MK
Lucifer_Sam...the worst actress ever has to be Melanie Griffith.
Somewhere around the corner waits Billy Bob with his arms open wide.
Wasn't Mulder a porn addict?
Zzzzzz.
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"Somebody needs to glamour A CLUE into that trick." - Sociologist Michael K
Oh no! Not Has Been and Never Was!!!!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Blind #2 from yesterday is definitely solved.
How ironic for me because today's my 20th wedding anniversary.
And why is Almanzo Wilder from Little House on the Prairie sitting behind them? What fucking year is that foto?
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
I never should have switched from Scotch to Martinis. - Bogart
She's the worst actress ever.