I just got back from spending the evening with my family at the luxurious beachside enclave that is Brighton Beach where we feasted on overcooked old fish and flat soda water at the most prestigious Russian seafood restaurant with a zero point Zagat rating, so this is the perfect video for me to end my day with. This is The Real Housewives of NYC’s Countess LuAnn dragging Jill Zarin and a bag of leather beans through the Borgata Hotel in Atlantic City, because when you think of “Chic C’est La Vie,” you automatically think of an old Jersey whore giving a $2 hand job on the boardwalk. I know I do.
But real talk, that video is just a ridiculous piece of shit wrapped in old lady tragedy. Jill Zarin belongs in a music video as much as a clit belongs in my asshole. It’s not right. It’s also not right that Cuntess LuMann sounds like an Eartha Kitt fart and looks like a man alien in Teri Hatcher drag. This is what it looks like when a hot flash and a cold queef collide.