Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

This A list couple, although, if taken individually he is probably a B+ actor who sucks at acting and she is rarely in anything anymore because I think most of her days are filled with followup doctor’s appointments. Anyway, this couple is finished. Over. If they don’t announce their divorce prior to July 4th, I will go ahead and do it for you on that day. You know, because I care. (CDAN)

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher? But how can Ashton Kutcher leave a woman who could seduce a banana out of a gorilla’s hand with her “chimpanzee possessed by a flatulent Tasmanian devil” moves?! I’ll believe it when I see Demi Moore posing in a “Please Respect Our Privacy” bathroom bikini cell phone photo shoot.

This celebrity couple have been trying to make it work for several years now but can no longer keep it together. He likes her only for her exhaustive sex drive but cares very little for any of her hobbies, other talents or opinions. Since she’s started to be more inclined towards philanthropist pursuits, he’s been really turned off by her. He wants drugs and partying and she wants to change her life. The two will be in splitsville soon, and we’re sure his selfish ways will be revealed. As will the numerous tapes of the two having sex that he’s secretly recorded. (BuzzFoto)

See above.

Which iconic sci-fi sex symbol with a history of bad relationships has gone lesbian? The once red-hot actress’ life is usually an open book, so it’s no wonder she’s telling friends that she’s ready to come out! (National Enquirer via Blind Gossip)

You know, if I owned a store, I’d have a sign that reads “Gone Lesbian” instead of “Gone to Lunch.”

I’ll go with Princess Labia herself Carrie Fisher for this one.

This almost A list movie actress is pregnant. The problem is her boyfriend dumped her. What to do? (CDAN)

ScarJo? And if the baby looks more like Sean Penn, she should just slide it into a litter of German Shepherd puppies. Nobody will notice and baby will probably have a better life.