Single White Warlock
Okay, so you've all been warned that Jacko and I are guest blogging this week so MK can have five minutes without us breathing down his neck (not like that sucios!!). This is your chance to bail. For the three of you that stayed, may I present the GODDESSLESS Charlie Sheen for your shredding pleasure.
According to TMZ, Charlie is not #WINNING today. Chuck's last goddess standing, Natalie, quit that bitch last week. I guess she got tired of propping up his cokey peen with popsicle sticks and duct tape, packed her toothbrush (yeah like that ho knows what hygiene is but just play along) and got the fuck out. She tried to peel out all dramatical like, but Charlie made her hand over the keys to the Mercedes he bought her. Ooooh, who's to the left to the left now Natalie??
Charlie's not crying in his crack pipe though. He spent that very night with three women from three different countries. He either wanted the International Special or those are the only three bitches in the world who don't have internet access. So any of you who have no standards, acne, a love for the bad shit, at least 3 STDs and aren't much to look at can apply at iwannafuckchuck@noselfesteem.com.
TMZ, Splashnews
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What?! You buy me a mercedes and try to take the keys back and I'll bury them with my granny.
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twerk those stumps!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:43am.
Carlos and Lohan for couple of the year.
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Now that's a couple I can get behind....far far behind, cuz they would be stinky.
Submitted by NovaNightly on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:43am.
Does crack make your nose and chin grow??
This made me LLOL
Sucky 12/14/09 Motherfucker, I lick pits for a living
LawDog 03/15/2010 Leenie, LOL. I think we can all agree that I am the most important person ever Salacious 7/15/10 Thank you Leenie! You made me smile like a 19th century whore who got overpaid
Niceun Sweetas.
Can't wait for Jacks
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:40am.
Dear Jack and Sweetas,
I trust during the open post you will give an account of the sexual favors performed in order to secure this gig. Photos are also welcome. Please make sure you include full frontal, Jack, for Mrs. Patrick Campbell's review. kplzthx
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EXACTLY
*picks urmomma off the floor*
*tucks her in to bed*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
M.E. ~
how's the pooch?
On Topic: we all know Charlie wears dentures.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
The Mercedes is just gonna end up in a ditch anyway, Charlie. Why not let the ho have it? She drank your Tiger's Blood straight out the bottle. I think she's earned a little token.
Thanks for not kicking my ass guys! I know I am NO MK, and I'm not trying to copy him. Give a bitch a break - I almost had an aneurysm writing that shit up! And I'm at work so I can't even get my drank on lol. :p
Charlie is missing a tooth! Charlie is 100% addicted to stinkfish!
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:43am.
Carlos and Lohan for couple of the year.
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Ahahahahaaaaa...fuck yes. I'd buy that for a dollar!
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Well-behaved women rarely make history
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:25am.
Hey yall!!!
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Stoney!!! You're back ♥
On topic: WTF, he looks like a geezer, isn't he only in his 40s??? Time for dentures, AdonisDNA.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:23am.
"He spent that very night with three women from three different countries."
Yeah, probably Uzbekistan, Djibouti and some country with "disputed zone" in the name.
LMAO Team Disputed Zone!
AHAHA NOOO pressure Jacko! I'm sure everyone will tell it like it is... ;-)
*wonders if MK is requiring someone to proof read Jacko's posts*
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Someone by the bar keeps looking at us dancing. I see him starring at me, I see what he wants be
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>:- (
Mr. Mercury ♥
Charlie.....man - your looks are shot. Gone. Done. OVAH.
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Love don't come easy, this you know I understand
I want to be your woman, if you'll be my man
Let yourself go freely and I'll show you things that you've dreamed of
-Donna Summer
Carlos and Lohan for couple of the year.
Ooh yeah, I forgot how he looked in Ferris Bueller....nothing like now, that's for sure.
Does crack make your nose and chin grow??
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"If when you die you get a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick but if not mmmboy!"
I saw this at Home Depot this weekend and thought of y'all:
http://i54.tinypic.com/29yh9iu.jpg
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
The only thing that can help Charlies at this point is direct hit from a bolt of lightning.
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"His faggy coffee shop poetry reading glasses will go over well in prison. I expect to see them on cumonglasses.com". ~ Dlister Provolone
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:39am.
OP HOSTED BY JACK'S PEEN!!!!!
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OKAYPLEASE?
YAY! Thank you! I wanted to hear about this!
Dear Jack and Sweetas,
I trust during the open post you will give an account of the sexual favors performed in order to secure this gig. Photos are also welcome. Please make sure you include full frontal, Jack, for Mrs. Patrick Campbell's review. kplzthx
OP HOSTED BY JACK'S MUGSHOT "whadaya thank laydays?? P.S. GHEYS ARE GROSSSSS!! I THREW UP EVERYWHERE!!!!!! so laydees, how u doin 2day?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
OP HOSTED BY JACK'S PEEN!!!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
OMG I NEED JACK'S POSTS IN MY EYESSSSSSSSSSS OH GOD I AM SO FUCKIGN PSYCHED FOR THIS WEEK JACK! JACKKK!! GET A TOWEL AND WIPE YER BROW! JUST MAKE WORDS UP!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Jack and sweetas sitting in a tree
B.L.O.G.G.I.N.G.
Can't wait for Jacks first post! Theres gonna be lots of 'shucks' and 'dangs' in it!
Nova: "HA!!...his nose and chin seem to be in a race to see who can stick out the farthest. " ahahahahaha
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Nova: "HA!!...his nose and chin seem to be in a race to see who can stick out the farthest. " ahahahahaha
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Looking at the pic in the post, it's hard to believe he once looked like THIS : http://www.tampabay.com/blogs/80s/imagebrowser/view/imagecache/53970/Ful...
From then on it was all downhill, I guess.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:32am.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:24am.
Right now Jacko is frantically flipping through the dictionary and thesaurus with beads of sweat dripping down his face like it's the night before his English term paper is due and he never went to class.
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fucking ^^THIS^^!!
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Jacko, quick, post a picture of Tom Cruise's strap-on and declare it Open Post.
First one to include a Bell Biv Devoe reference gets my vote for favorite guest blogger!
*fk work*
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:34am.
Remember Carlos, there's always La Lohan. She'll probably charge less than your porn stars so it's a win-win.
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BSF, I know! WHY haven't those two gotten together yet?? You'd think they'd know that'd be the slutdrunkmeth reality show OF ALL SHOWS. I don't get it.
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"HELLO, ATHENS!" -Wino in Belgrade June 18, 2011
Good job, sweetas :) <3
As for Carlos, when is he gonna make CLove and Blohan his goddesses so that all three of them can OD together already??
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"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face." - A Shore Thing, by the
Remember Carlos, there's always La Lohan. She'll probably charge less than your porn stars so it's a win-win.
Great job, Sweetas!!!!! You're up, Jack!
It's all fun and games until Wino gets to the gates of purgatory and slurs out, "HELLO, ATHENS!" ----MK
Way to go, sweetas!!! I need video of the three hos!!!
Submitted by Provolone on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:28am.
His teeth look like twinkies rolled in dirt.
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Hahahahahahaaa!
Jesus! You got ALL the old school back including Stoney....I smell a Pulitzer....or is that Elizabeth's brats going bad/....Congrats on your debute....your one of the best Dlisted Sluts....Love Blanche and Jane Hudson.
"Sure, I like a cocktail every now and again. And the last I checked, it was now".
HA!!...his nose and chin seem to be in a race to see who can stick out the farthest. He's sorta channeling Bob Hope there. Yikes...
Oh and NICE POST...ME LIKEY! ;-)
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"If when you die you get a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick but if not mmmboy!"
This is going to be fun!
Hey, Chuck, you are looking a little gummy. Cracky.
@ stoney *whispers*
I knew you'd come back for me.
*heart bursts*
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Hell, everything would be better with stick ponies-MK
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:24am.
Right now Jacko is frantically flipping through the dictionary and thesaurus with beads of sweat dripping down his face like it's the night before his English term paper is due and he never went to class.
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fucking ^^THIS^^!!
Awesome job Sweetass!!! *SWOOOON-UH*
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Anyone can get screwed, its not rocket science.
Submitted by kate773 on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 11:06am.
hes got algae teef
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
This gets a big fat gold star!!!!11111!!!
Awesome post, Sweetas. You're a natural MK:)
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Well-behaved women rarely make history
His teeth look like twinkies rolled in dirt.
Sweetas, Jacks, TEAM GUEST BLOGGING HOOKAASSS!! Love it! Let MK have his honeymoon and shit! woot
ONT: Why didn't Sheen ask for his toof back from whichever godlesses bitch took it?? God that fker looks like he's 130yrs.
*back to fking work for me boo*
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"HELLO, ATHENS!" -Wino in Belgrade June 18, 2011
What is happening with Mr. Sheen's stalactite nose and stalagmite chin (and yes, those teefs)? What's his next job, building gingerbread houses in order to lure more goddesses? Jesus.
Sweetas, you had me at "Godessless."
Submitted by ba-buttons on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:23am.
"He spent that very night with three women from three different countries."
Yeah, probably Uzbekistan, Djibouti and some country with "disputed zone" in the name.
CHARLIES LIKES GODDESS FROM KUNTRIES THAN END WITH THE LETTER "AN"
SO SAYS THE COUNT
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by Rosemary Young on Mon, 06/27/2011 - 9:14am.
Sweetas, is Michael paying you for your work? He makes a living off those ads, you know!
Have fun. And please don't feel you have to imitate MK (this reader's opinion). You can find your own voice! :-)
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I second that. Great job, but feel free to be yourself. You're a funny bitch, Sweetas!
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
" Ooooh, who's to the left to the left now Natalie??"
LMAO GOOD JOB MY LOVE! AWESOME FIRST POST!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11