Looking Good, Gerry, Looking Good

June 27, 2011 / Posted by:

If you just so happened to be in Malibu over the weekend and wondered why hundreds of schools of fishes were swimming around the shore, it wasn’t because Parasite Hilton went skinny dipping and the sea life thought that a new all-you-can eat buffet had opened up. Nope. It was because Gerard Butler went swimming in the ocean and the sea life KNEW an all-you-can buffet had opened up. You really haven’t seen shit until you’ve seen thousands of fish swim up through Gerry Butler’s trunks to nibble on the greasy smegma his dirty dick serves up! It’s kind of like when you go to Red Lobster and the servers put down that basket of bottomless cheese biscuits (Off-Topic: Bottomless Cheese Biscuits is my nickname in certain circles). It’s like that. Grossness aside….

Here’s the man slut extraordinaire and human grease slick Gerry Butler hanging around Malibu this past weekend in a Panama Hat (or a Havana Hat, or whatever that is on his head). My mom and auntie are in town so I’ve been forced to step outside my hermit whore hole (Off-Topic: Hermit Whore Hole is my nickname in certain circles) and I’ve noticed that every single bitch on the street is wearing a Panama Hat now. EVERYBODY! Babies, douchebags, hookers, lezzies, gays, memaws, pepaws, squirrels, roaches, etc.. etc.. They are all wearing them! The Panama Hat is the Trucker Hat of 2011 and I can’t take everybody trying to look like a Cuban drug kingpin. How are you supposed to know which Cuban drug kingpin sells the bad shit if everybody looks like a Cuban drug kingpin? It’s confusing!

Let’s fast forward pass this trend and get to the point in history where everybody wears metal Boy London caps again.

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