Hot Slut Of The Day!

Marnie (as played by Fiona Shaw), the head witch in charge from True Blood.

Horny eyeballs itching for a piece of ASkars finally got some relief last night with the season four premiere of True Blood. Unfortunately for the extra horny eyeballs out there, there were no shots of ASkars nipples, but there was ridiculous foolery from the beginning. I’m talking about that damn fairy world. The hell was that? If Tinkerbell ate a Maxfield Parrish painting and then farted, it would look like the set of True Blood’s fairy world. If Telemundo turned She-Ra into a novela, the set would look just like the set of True Blood’s fairy world. Those glowing bell peppers that look like Chernobyl nutsacks? A damn mess!

But fairy fuckery aside, my favorite character this season is definitely going to be the crazed witch Marnie. Lafayette’s piece Jesus brings him to meet the Bon Temps’ coven of witches headed by Marnie. Marnie doesn’t really speak a lot of words in the first episode, but you can already tell she’s the kind of insane ho who cackles with her eyes when she scrubs blood out of a bathroom tile floor with a Magic Eraser. Bitch has got Here’s Johnny eyes paired with a Dress Barn wardrobe and that’s always a hot combination. And Marnie of course latches her crazy onto Lafayette who got himself a makeover:

Of course Marnie is going to hitch herself to Lafayette’s honey glazed caboose. Who wouldn’t give an imaginary flower to a hot bitch who looks like Randy Jackson’s Journey days meets King Koopa.