I was going to write about how MTV is supposedly going to recast the entire cast of Jersey Shore for season six, but I made the editorial decision that this story about a pile of shits getting dumped was much more entertaining, newsworthy and interesting!
Skeletor was on The Tonight Show the other night and he told Jay Leno about the time one of his Dragon Tales twins dropped the most expensive shit bomb that has come out of a Lopez since Bordertown.
“He had an accident in the pool. It got into the filtration system and they charged us to clean it. That was expensive. He took a $6,000 dump in the pool!
In order to potty train them, every time they’d use the toilet we’d give them a lollipop. Three days passed and we ran out of lollipops. I’m like, ‘You should probably get them checked out if they’re using the potty that much.'”
This will teach JLo to stop taking singing lessons in the pool house. Even a Dragon Twin’s bowels cannot resist the urge to purge itself when exposed to JLo’s non-auto-tuned voice.
And $6,000 might seem like a lot of money to clean a pool, but this is JLo we’re talking about. If she didn’t order them to resurface the entire pool with elephant ivory and refill it with the tears of a beluga whale, then we can look dead into her eyes and say, “I don’t know you anymore.”