In a scene not unlike when Dark Heart tried to take down the Care Bears, Justin Bieber was tackled by who some say was an insane fan at a signing for his bottle of virgin queefs at Macy’s in NYC today. However, TMZ is trying to say that it was all just a big mistake and it wasn’t an insane fan who wanted to make love to Justin’s halo of wondrous follicles, it was an undercover cop trying to protect him. Uh huh. Open that undercover cop’s coat and I’m sure you’ll find a 3-year-old Belieber sitting on another 3-year-old Belieber’s shoulders. Guilty.
A source says that when the crowd of insane and fetus-thirsty Beliebers started to get crazy, the plainclothes officer tried to help. The Lesbeaver’s security team had no idea who the undercover cop was so they tried to pull the dude away. After the officer showed his badge, he cited Bieber’s bodyguard with disorderly conduct. But when Justin Bieber smiled causing the sky to jizz a rainbow, the officer took back the citation. Because when you make a Beiber cry, a Canadian angel’s balls drop prematurely and that’s not a good thing (I think).
Here’s the clip of Beiber getting attacked:
The SCREAMS! It’s like the Vancouver Riots re-enacted by newborns. I don’t see Bieber, but I’m pretty sure I see Waldo.