No Jail For Lindsay Lohan!

June 23, 2011 / Posted by:

It’s a day of the week that ends in Y, which means that it’s National No Jail For Lindsay Lohan Day, which means the judge obviously didn’t force her out of her house arrest resort today. LiLo got all dressed up and shuffled off to court only to be told by Judge Stephanie that she won’t be going to jail, because they shouldn’t have booze tested her in the first place. Citizens of L.A., stick your head outside of the window and inhale deeply because that’s musky scent of your tax dollars burning (which fittingly is also the same scent as LiLo’s skin).

TMZ reports that LiLo’s alcohol testing ended on February 25th and Judge Stephanie never ordered any additional testing. Judge Stephanie also told the Probation Department that they need to stop testing her for drugs and booze. YAY! LiLo can freely booze her face off, but Judge Stephanie did lay down a few rules:

1. No more parties!
2. Only one friend at a time (family members don’t count)

Judge Stephanie softly slapped LiLo on the wrist by saying that she showed poor judgement. Judge Stephanie then gave LiLo a dozen drink tickets for wasting her time.

This news definitely ruined my day, but it made LiLo’s! Hearing from a judge that she can suck a keg dry as long as only one friend is there to hold her weave back is like the equivalent of Prince Hot Ginge’s peen cooing into my ear.

Or maybe Judge Stephanie is slicker than we think and she’s trying reverse psychology on LiLo. You know, since up to this point LiLo has been doing the opposite of everything the court has told her to do.

Judge Stephanie should’ve ordered the Probation Department to test her to make sure she DOES have booze in her system. If she doesn’t, she’s going to jail! Seriously, the dumb bitch would never put her lips on the sweet nectar again.

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