No Jail For Lindsay Lohan!
It's a day of the week that ends in Y, which means that it's National No Jail For Lindsay Lohan Day, which means the judge obviously didn't force her out of her house arrest resort today. LiLo got all dressed up and shuffled off to court only to be told by Judge Stephanie that she won't be going to jail, because they shouldn't have booze tested her in the first place. Citizens of L.A., stick your head outside of the window and inhale deeply because that's musky scent of your tax dollars burning (which fittingly is also the same scent as LiLo's skin).
TMZ reports that LiLo's alcohol testing ended on February 25th and Judge Stephanie never ordered any additional testing. Judge Stephanie also told the Probation Department that they need to stop testing her for drugs and booze. YAY! LiLo can freely booze her face off, but Judge Stephanie did lay down a few rules:
1. No more parties!
2. Only one friend at a time (family members don't count)
Judge Stephanie softly slapped LiLo on the wrist by saying that she showed poor judgement. Judge Stephanie then gave LiLo a dozen drink tickets for wasting her time.
This news definitely ruined my day, but it made LiLo's! Hearing from a judge that she can suck a keg dry as long as only one friend is there to hold her weave back is like the equivalent of Prince Hot Ginge's peen cooing into my ear.
Or maybe Judge Stephanie is slicker than we think and she's trying reverse psychology on LiLo. You know, since up to this point LiLo has been doing the opposite of everything the court has told her to do.
Judge Stephanie should've ordered the Probation Department to test her to make sure she DOES have booze in her system. If she doesn't, she's going to jail! Seriously, the dumb bitch would never put her lips on the sweet nectar again.
• 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I didn't have my glasses on when I first looked at the article and it looked like-
1. No more panties.
2. Only one friend at a time....
I'm sure that's not off the mark anyway. I doubt she could hold herself to this anymore than she could stay sober.
I just read her latest probation report that triggered this whole thing and the day the 'malfuntioning ankle monitor' went off at 1:30 a.m. and they called her place repeatedly through the morning and later that afternoon and no answer of course. The cops didn't get a clue to go over until 4 the next afternoon and there she was sitting there fake reading fake ass scripts or some such shit. She blamed Benjamin Ali for spilling pop on it. They discovered some sticky substance on it and concluded that it had been tampered with. Now correct me if I'm wrong but, isn't this equivalent to a jail brake? The judge read and signed this report yesterday and all she gave her was a stern parental warning. Unfuckingreal. Gaaawd this ticks me off. I know, I need to get a life. I'll just wait for her to OD now. At least I have that.
Wait I think I know what she did there. Lezlo is an addict, the kind of addict that still thinks she isn't one, the judge just gave her a free pass, something she's been wiating for, now perhaps she knows Lezlo will fuck up again (as she always does) and she's wiating for her chance to really fuck her over.
Either way Lezlo's probably already back on the sauce and pills so she's already fucking herself. If there's one thing Hollywood can't stand it's an idiot that can't handle their shit. The studio heads may all be doing blow but once you get your self in court over and over again they know they can't trust your ass to handle your own shit, so you're not making any more movies. You can do that shit in your trailer, you cannot do it in public.
Individuals guys are performing the job all night However,Gucci Sunglasses, referees,Ed Hardy Shoes, get discretion to ascertain when the person who's hit put himself inside a vulnerable placement hence generating the particular contact inescapable McKeon lives in New york Lower than fourteen days earlier,cheap gucci bags, detectives while using Nc Admin regarding California's places of work granted looking justify for fiscal data associated with Wichard as well as Seasoned Tect in an outside probe straight into if the state's sports activities realtor laws and regulations have been damaged"We've got to remove the unsafe visitors if you don't take smacking away,cheapest gucci bags,Inches Toronto Maple Leafs gm Brian Burke stated Whether any small fee or significant punishment or perhaps no penalty will be evaluated for these infractions,gucci handbags clearance, players may be subject to headgear Because given the opportunity,Gucci Jewelry, the idea didn't do anything Your expectancy throughout San francisco bay area pertaining to June is actually dried up temperature along with a powerful wind
Damn. I feel like I have to make a hell of a lot of excuses to sit around my crappy house and get loaded on those rare, rare days that I actually can. Bitch just got a major "Go for it!" from the court. Ugh - I would kill someone get to the time she's doing.
Stay at Home? YES. Booze/Drugs? YES. No idiots allowed over? YES. Just me and my TV and booze/drugs? YES! YES! YES!
I think what a lot of people are forgetting is that she's not on probation any more. She was ordered to rehab and then to stay alcohol free as a condition of her probation. When the judge found she had violated her probation -- and I think (could be wrong) it was because she was arrested/charged with stealing the necklace -- her probation was revoked and she was ordered to do jail time, which is what she is doing now, at home.
Not to defend her or anything. Hell, my celebrity dead pool expires in September, and I need the points.
**********************************
When I was crazy I thought you were great
All these weeks that Casey A is sitting through all these endless back forth between the lawyers getting no where. Maybe she should give Lindsay's lawyer a call and Casey could be free by the weekend. Just a thought.
OK look...it's obvious that the court system is not going to punish her anymore so it is up to us!
Boycott any movie that she's in, don't buy any magazine that prints an article of her and try not to comment on her on gossip sites...oh wait!
Rusty!
Probably not a good sign that I can write in Lowhanese.
xoxox
Submitted by zomay on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 6:33pm.
Thank G-D!!! I was so worried for Lindsay's future!
G-D Bless the Lowhans!!! Everything in the universe makes sense again!!
Thank G-D!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahaha. Zomay, you are probably accurately predicting one of her tweets at around 2:00 a.m. tomorrow, after she drinks a bunch of non-alcohol.
Put her stupid vapid ass into a movie. The World public will make it very clear what we think about her. Go Ahead, give it a try, if you've got millions to lose.
Thank G-D!!! I was so worried for Lindsay's future!
G-D Bless the Lowhans!!! Everything in the universe makes sense again!!
Thank G-D!!!!!!!!!!!!
California voters have been putting all these Liberal loons into public office for decades and people are surprised this is the outcome?
Eat it.
Move to Texas and get out of that shithole of California. Too late for that once great state.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Dancing is dreaming with your feet."
"Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 5:21pm.
line 'em up!... i've got nothin' against playing baby dominoes!LOL!"
lmao!! Yes! Puppies saved!
--------------------------------------
"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
I didn't know you could drink at all on house arrest...Hell, if I ever steal a necklace, after two DUI's and a possession of a controlled substance and recieve house arrest, I'll know to STOCK UP ON DA BOOZE...Yeah, the only peeps I've known who got house arrest were not allowed to drink....Maybe it's a state thing?
**********************************
Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Observation 1: she looks like the Aawwww Yeeeaaaahhh guy in this pic.
observation 2: still hate this cunt.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Well-behaved women rarely make history
Submitted by Nanners on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 1:53pm.
"1. No more parties!
2. Only one friend at a time (family members don't count)"
So bitch is basically grounded? Thank goodness she didn't kill anybody. She might have been sent to bed without dinner.
============================
LOL, I had to edit because I said the same thing before I started reading the other comments.
Yeah, I'll bet the judge told her that she's not mad, just very, very disappointed in her. I wonder if she'll lose her computer privileges for a month unless it's to do her homework.
Don't worry, though, when she's a broke, toothless whore ala Barbara Payton, the justice system will be paying aaaalll kinds of attention to her.
Why do they even bother? Just let her pay a huge fine, get rid of her probation and let her drink herself to death.
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 5:13pm.
Uh, can you focus your attention on babies instead. Seals, puppies and kangaroos are far too cute.
----------------------------------------------
line 'em up!... i've got nothin' against playing baby dominoes!LOL!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
"Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 4:22pm.
*kicks puppy*... *baseball bats baby seal*... *punches kangaroo*... what in the fuck is it gonna take?!"
Uh, can you focus your attention on babies instead. Seals, puppies and kangaroos are far too cute.
--------------------------------------
"Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 04/16/2010 - 5:46pm.
I would slaughter a thousand babies for an hour alone with Mike Rowe."
hope the fleshrotted skank o.d.'s and dies horrificly and slowly.
not many people i wish shit like that on, but this loser easily makes the cut like buttah.
-like a bitch in heat, i seem to attract a coterie of policemen and sanitation officials. -JKT
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 4:50pm.
*hands ESE Red Velvet cousin*
-------------------------------------
see, now i feel better.... tea(joe), pills(M.E.), and baked(family members)goods from you, cuppy... it's a dlisted gift basket to settle the soul!!
yeah, she's gonna have to start skinning live children on the courthouse steps to get the attention of a meter cop to place a ticket on her suv for parking violation... even then, she's gonna beat the fine!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 4:22pm.
*kicks puppy*... *baseball bats baby seal*... *punches kangaroo*... what in the fuck is it gonna take?!
-----------------------------
*hands ESE Red Velvet cousin* I am sorry ESE, I know you were trying to be postive earlier today, BUT, as I predicted, she suffered no consequences, therefore, after today, I am hoping MK will delete her from his postings, because I want to hear nothing about her.
I think, truthfully, it will take her killing someone DUI in order for her to get any type of punishment. Amazing how RDJ went to prison for less than what this bitch has ever done.
Fucking Judge, to with her "poor judgment" caca. Did she say that with a straight face? The poor judgments started when Milo didn't wear a condom!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Submitted by Lurker on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 7:03pm.
Submitted by Pamela on Sun, 06/27/2010 - 6:51pm
damn girl, you tell it like it is!!!
2. Only one friend at a time (family members don't count)
I bet she squirrels around THIS one by having huge parties, but claiming she doesn't really like them.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 4:33pm.
*crushes 2 valium in ESE's vodka cran*
----------------------------------------
WAIT!!!... that'll make it taste chalky... that just can't be!... i'll take 'em willingly!LOL!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
*crushes 2 valium in ESE's vodka cran*
Submitted by joe shmoe on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 4:30pm.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 4:22pm.
*kicks puppy*... *baseball bats baby seal*... *punches kangaroo*... what in the fuck is it gonna take?!
****
*pouring ESE a soothing cup of Oolong tea*
---------------------------------------------
thanky... shot of whiskey in there too, please!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 4:22pm.
*kicks puppy*... *baseball bats baby seal*... *punches kangaroo*... what in the fuck is it gonna take?!
****
*pouring ESE a soothing cup of Oolong tea*
************
"Pluck at the air and describe the texture of what you hold between your fingers; that is what trying to describe the sexual alchemy between lovers is like"~W.T.
The only bars this ______ (insert epithet/slur here) will see are the ones that throw her drunken ass out after she ignores the closing bell.
I say, let her drink until she develops scales and gills and she can swim off into the sunset.
*kicks puppy*... *baseball bats baby seal*... *punches kangaroo*... what in the fuck is it gonna take?!
-----------------------------
"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
And still the millions cry...
WTF. I'm bummed Lilo ain't going to jail (today) but come on, they couldn't resolve this on day ONE?
Well, I hate to be a wet blanket but theoretically, if the judge didn't order it and they did it anyway, Lilo can't be held accountable.
************
"Pluck at the air and describe the texture of what you hold between your fingers; that is what trying to describe the sexual alchemy between lovers is like"~W.T.
I can't believe I finally don't give a shit about this girl. It's very liberating to go all honey badger about dumb tricks.
Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 2:27pm.
I swear this bitch has a get out of jail free card.
----------
She sure as hell does and it's laminated.
+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+<>+
"If when you die you get a choice between pie heaven and regular heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick but if not mmmboy!"
Mehh no surprise she got off easy again. I'll just crack open my fourth beer while on my lunch break in her honor.
At least she's pulling one over the damn pigs and judicial system. Fuck the police. Fuck the system.
Cheers LiLo.!
I think it's a waste of bandwidth to even talk about her anymore. She's nothing. She not an actress or a singer or a model. She's just another used to be famous nobody and not worth wasting time on. I don't care about her any more.
I wish some gang banger would kill her with a stray bullet.
sick of hearing about this useless cumbucket.
she makes mentally disabled people look like Stephen Hawking compared to her.
What's it going to take to get this miserable cunt behind bars? Does she have to have a head-on crash with a school bus or something?
The legal system in this country is worth shit.
babybunny -- oh, man, that is perfect, dying the way Ginger did in "Casino" after a hot dose. I hope this bitch kills herself before she takes out anyone else drunk driving. I just wish everyone would stop paying attention her, then she'd go away. And Lindsay, if you're reading this, FUCK YOU -- JUST DIE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remove the judgie from the bench. LiLo will fuck up now she's got a green light to drink. That's fine. She'll kill herself eventually. Her career is shot ... unless she goes porn to replace Traci Lords.
yes, this news is sad, but at least it makes her look stupid for saying "there's no alcohol in my house! it's just not allowed! no drinking, EVER!" in an interview, posing next to a glass of milk (lol) and then testing positive for booze the next day.
so at least there's that.
- - - - - - - -
"I'm gonna end up back in the gutter, sucking meth for cock." - drunk Naomi in Still Waiting...
"Wrist full of colorful rubberbands!" - album reviewer extraordinaire Khia
quite fittingly...
http://j.mp/f89sny
I seriously want to hear/see nothing on this cunt ever again.
What a bunch of shit!
Someone please put this thing out of its misery.
Team Valtrex on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 2:33pm.
Hell, I'd be the 3rd dick from the left!
*hangs dick in clorox*
*doubles over laffin'*
*wipes tear*
DO NOT BLEACH THE DONG!
How much is this going to cost? You're making this sound so much better than Real Housewives cat fights!
-
I may in fact NEVER be funny. I am not paid to be funny and being funny isn't a requirement to post on dlisted. Get the FUCK OVER IT, you UNfunny fuckers.
nice picture though -
And here's Lindsay in her famous pose for the cover of Bukkake Bitches of Budapest 4.
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
whiskey tango and nanners - right on, both of you.
********************
The McCanns Did It
Submitted by Schlong on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 2:32pm.
Team Valtrex on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 2:30pm.
You know that seal at the circus that plays that rack of horns? Lindsay does the same thing with dicks.
LMAO! I would totally pay to see that. That's the sick-sad thing. *hangs head in shame*
*********************************************
Hell, I'd be the 3rd dick from the left!
*hangs dick in clorox*
***********************************************
"I am the Devil, and I'm here to do the Devil's work"
Team Valtrex on Thu, 06/23/2011 - 2:30pm.
You know that seal at the circus that plays that rack of horns? Lindsay does the same thing with dicks.
LMAO! I would totally pay to see that. That's the sick-sad thing. *hangs head in shame*
-
I may in fact NEVER be funny. I am not paid to be funny and being funny isn't a requirement to post on dlisted. Get the FUCK OVER IT, you UNfunny fuckers.