Lindsay Lohan boozed herself to a probation violation last week and today’s the day that we find out if she’s still fucking the justice system raw with a strap-on made of her self-entitlement or if they’re actually going to shock us all by putting her in a jail cell (or a rehab facility that doesn’t give seaweed body wraps and put a chocolate truffle on your silk pillow at bedtime). But honestly, who cares about that. What we all really care about is that that little deluded justice strangler wore to court this morning!
The pride of White Oprah stomped into court (or as she calls it, “that funny place with the silly judge who keeps threatening to send me to this hilarious place called jail“) this morning wearing something that was completely different than her Basic Instinct ensemble or the leather body condom dress. Instead, she showed up dressed like a pharmaceutical rep at happy hour or like my butch lezzie friend at a wedding (sans the heels). LiLo accessorized her business casual outfit with a cokehead tan. You know, a cokehead tan is when you have them spray everything but your hands so that when you use your finger to scoop up the bad shit powder, you won’t get any of that nasty tan sludge up your nostrils. Tanned coke is gross.
I do like that LiLo wore her hair back though. In all the pictures on her mug shot gallery of beauty she has her hair down. So it’s smart of her to give her mug shots some variety!!!