Step Up 4: Footlose

So many things are better with Bacon in it like toothpaste, Jennifer Aniston’s hair, nipples and now you can add the Footloose reboot to that list. This is the first trailer of the modern version of MTV’s remake of Footloose and not only is it one degree away from Kevin Bacon, it will soon be zero degrees away from a shelf full of Razzies. Instead of Kevin Bacon, they give us some trick named Kenny Wormald (which sounds like an infectious disease you get after a worm pisses on you) and instead of Lori Singer, they give us Julianne Hough.

You know, Julianne Hough is growing on me the same way Ryan Gaycrest’s ass lips grow when he sees her brother shirtless, but the rest of this makes a strong case for moving to a town that bans all the showings of 80s remakes. But I’m not going to waste my energy on raising my flaming pitchfork at this watered down mess. I’ll save that for when MTV inevitably remakes my childhood classic Mac and Me (re-titled Subway and Me) starring Snooki and Gary from Teen Mom.