Ryan Dunn Was Drunk

June 22, 2011 / Posted by:

West Goshen Police Chief Michael Carroll announced today that Jackasses’ Ryan Dunn had a blood alcohol level of 0.196% when he crashed his Porsche into a tree, killing himself and his friend Zachary Hartwell. Police Cheif Carroll also said that Ryan was going anywhere from 132-140mph before the crash. That tension you feel in the air is Roger Ebert’s hand hovering over his keyboard while he thinks about typing out the characters I-T-O-L-D-Y-O-U-S-O. The details from CNN:

“The initial crash reconstruction investigation determined that Mr. Dunn’s vehicle was traveling between 132-140 mph at the time of the collision,” West Goshen Police Chief Michael Carroll said in a statement Wednesday.

Toxicology testing by the coroner indicated Dunn’s blood alcohol concentration was 0.196%, which is more than twice the legal state limit of 0.08, Carroll said.

Everything (and I mean fucking everything) has already been said. The lesson here is, if you’re drunk enough to bleed Blood Marys, then it’s probably not a good idea to hit the gas pedal on your Porsche until it touches 140 on the odometer. Take a pedicab! Or a shopping cart! Actually, don’t take a shopping cart.

By the way, when my mom saw this story on the news, the first thing she said was, “SAD! But I like that dog he carried around in that movie with Iron Man.” Your mom probably said the same thing.

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