You know how earlier today Lindsay Lohan told Life & Style that there wasn’t one drop of booze in her house? Well, she just LOLOMGJK-ing, because TMZ reports that LiLo got an F- on one alcohol last week. So are you going to put your money on the “OMG somebody switched my organic chamomile tea with vodka crystals” excuse or the “OMG my ex-father switched my test with Amy Wino’s test” excuse?
Judge Stephanie Sautner has ordered LiLo and her lawyer to show up to court at 10am tomorrow morning to battle it out against the L.A. County Probation Department who think she should be thrown into a jail cell. The Probation Department tried to get LiLo to take two booze tests in May, but her lawyer kept telling them that it wasn’t part of her probation. It was and when they finally got her tested, LiLo must’ve not had enough time to shove the Ziploc bag full of sober baby urine up her chocha, because she failed one test. On the bright side, LiLo tested negative for drugs!
The only thing this fail bitch had to do was sit in her house and sip on ice water instead of mouthwash and vodka and she couldn’t even do that? Bitch better put PROFESSIONAL FUCK-UP next to occupation on her tax returns next year. I swear, if they don’t put this ho behind a jail cell tomorrow and build a brick wall in front of it, then we can all assume that she’s got pictures of every judge with butt plugs in their asses on her laptop. I mean, what does a Lindsay Lohan have to do to get behind a jail cell? Paint her skin brown and change her fucking name to Lindsay Sanchez?!