Wino’s Stumble & Mumble Tour Will Not Go On

June 21, 2011 / Posted by:

Those of you in Europe who really wanted to spend 60 dollars of your hard-whored money to exercise your vocal cords by booing at a human train as she skips off the tracks and crashes into the stage will have to go elsewhere for that, because Amy Wino has canceled every single date on her European comeback tour. Wino started her European tour in Belgrade by telling the audience “HELLO, ATHENS!” before giving the same performance I’d give if my jaw was dead from Novocaine and I had just had a 6-man butt orgy inside of a dryer set to tumble. Wino’s rep had this explanation for why she’s going back to England.

“Everyone involved wishes to do everything they can to help her return to her best and she will be given as long as it takes for this to happen.”

It’s all fun and games until Wino gets to the gates of purgatory and slurs out, “HELLO, ATHENS!

It’s become obvious that everyone involved, especially Mitch Wino, is sucking every last whiskey-drenched dollar out of Wino and hanging it up on the line to dry. But don’t they realize that they aren’t going to fill their pockets with nothing but boos and returned concert tickets if they don’t try to exorcise the crack demon out of her body? If they cleaned Wino up and she was able to get through an entire performance without trying to snort up the mic, they’d make even more money? They’re an embarrassment to all money grubbing pimps! They should really take a class from Daddy Spears at the Learning Annex.

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