Jackasses’ Ryan Dunn is shitting toy cars on heaven’s carpet and doing homoerotic stunts with the angels today and there’s lots of talk about how he got there. The facts are that three hours before Ryan crashed his Porsche into a tree, he was slurping up the sweet nectar at a bar. Some witnesses at the bar say that Ryan had 3 beers, 3 shots and was “wasted.” Other witnesses say that he had a couple of beers and wasn’t even drunk enough to make a Breathalyzer bust into a boner. The police speculated that Ryan was going around 100mph before he hit the tree.
Ryan’s autopsy went down yesterday and so the toxicology reports should be out soon. Shortly after the news of Ryan’s crash went around, Roger Ebert reviewed his death on Twitter and gave it one thumb down.
Friends don’t let jackasses drink and drive.
19 hours ago via SocialOomph
You can say that Roger Tweets the truth! You can say that Roger Tweets the truth TOO SOON! Or you can say Roger needs to shove his Tweet up his ass and shoot it into the mouth of a toilet where it belongs. Of course, Ryan’s fellow Jackasser, Bam Margera, went with the latter when he went off about Roger’s Tweet on Twitter.
I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day and piece of shit roger ebert has the gall to put in his 2 cents
10 hours ago via Twitter for BlackBerry®
About a jackass drunk driving and his is one, fuck you! Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat fucking mouth!
10 hours ago
Both Roger and Bam need to stop and think about what Ryan Dunn would want! Would Ryan really want them to be kicking at each other’s dick bones on Twitter?! TWITTER? When Twitter isn’t bringing out a ho’s dick pictures, it’s bringing out a ho’s assholery. You know, there’s a lot truth to what Roger said and Bam has every right to flip his keystrokes about it. But they should really put their differences aside and mourn the loss of Ryan by pouring one out into a funnel that’s shoved up their b-holes. That’s what Ryan would want!