Open Post: Hosted By Ryan Gosling And His Hipster Dog

June 19, 2011 / Posted by:

Even Ryan Gosling’s dog is a damn hipster! Look at that dog’s body mohawk* that all the dogs will be working in a few months when Ryan Gosling’s dog is over it and on to the next thing.

Ryan Gosling’s dog is also totally over escalators and has declared them OUT. Ryan’s hipster dog won’t even put his paw on one. But you should thank Ryan’s dog for this, because now you know that the quickest way for him to put his fingers near your important parts is to slip on an oversized Benji costume. Don’t forget to shave a body mohawk into it.

Here’s Ryan giving you another reason to love him at LAX the other day. I’m saying “you” instead of “us,” because he’s just too smooth for me. I can’t even trust him enough to fap to him. You know that in real life, during fuck times, Ryan is the type to pull out, pull up his jeans, throw on his leather jacket, tell you he has to go, wink at you and then strut over to the bar down the street to get a Pabst. And you wouldn’t even be mad at him for leaving you with your nekkid ass in the air! So, since I try to keep my fap fantasies as realistic as possible, I’d have to stop halfway to go and cry in a cold shower while cursing PABST!

* Yes, I know it’s probably from surgery, but just let me believe that his dog is a hipster who is trying to make the body mohawk happen.

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