Behold, The Worst Concert In The History Of Belgrade
If you've ever wanted to see a methadone clinic toddler do a Marilyn Monroe impersonation 2-seconds after she came out of a coma, then here you go.
Fresh off of her one-week stint in rehab, Amy Wino returned to the stage for her comeback concert in Belgrade last night and the audience left with an aftertaste of BOOs in their mouth and a sadness in their wallets. Almost 20,000 hos dropped $57 to see the triumphant return of Wino and what they got was a show that they can see for free on the 34th Street subway platform from a homeless crackhead wearing a dress made out of Hefty bags while trying to sing a Billie Holiday song in the style of Gilbert Gottfried. You just want to drop a coin in her donation cup so you can hear the sound of quarters clinking instead of the sound of a hyena with laryngitis getting choked out. A mess.
Wino was over an hour late and when she finally showed up, she stumbled and mumbled her way through that mess. The audience had to act as Wino's verbal teleprompter by feeding her the lines to her own damn songs. Crack has never been accused of helping a bitch's memory, that's for sure.
When Wino wasn't dropping her mic and slurring her lyrics, she was wiping at her nose and running backstage, leaving the band to entertain the crowd. Wino still has 11 more dates to get through on her European tour. But if Wino's money greed whore of a team know what's good, they will cancel everything and send her ass to a year-long SCARED STRAIGHT program for crackheads, because damn. I've seen live car crashes that are less painful to watch than this. This is like a lost segment from Faces of Death.
UPDATE: Two of Wino's future dates have been put in the pipe and smoked up! Wino's show in Istanbul on Monday and her show in Athens on Wednesday have both been canceled! Wino's rep says that she knows she can't "perform to the best of her ability" right now.
(Thanks Jelena and Nina)