Vanilla Gorilla And Kat Von D Are Getting Married This Summer
Vanilla Gorilla has used his hailin' fist to beat down the rumor that his engagement to Katherine von Drachenberg is no more. Life & Style ran story claiming that Vanilla Gorilla told his friends that Kat Von D is too much drama and he's not interested in making her the fourth wife he'll totally fuck over in the worst way. But Vanilla Gorilla told People that there's no trouble trashadise and everything's going according to plan. In fact, VG tells People that he and Kat Von D will beat the dead carcass that is marriage by becoming husband and wife on their one-year anniversary as a couple:
"We're still going strong. Things are completely good with us. That day can't come soon enough! Everything is on track. I am absolutely more in love today than I was a year ago. She's the one for me."
Of course their one-year anniversary is in August. Most big cities in August reek of grilled dog shit, baked kitty litter, rancid hamburger juice and dirty flip-flop butter so nobody will notice when the disgusting fumes of trash waft from VG and Kat's lips during their first kiss as a married couple. No, seriously, if VG insists on trying to make marriage work for him, I'll tell him the same thing I tell my Chihuahua when he tries to butt hump a Labrador at the dog park: "Have fun trying, bitch, because it's never going to happen."
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Can you image when Kat is older and her tattooed skin is hanging off her bones. She will look like a dirty ash tray. No man will go anywhere near her.
Love their fake breakup drama.
The fact that anybody cares about this broke-down mechanic and this slut tattooer...
It's the end of the world.
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GERONIMO!
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sat, 06/18/2011 - 12:06am.
I was wrong - I guessed Keith Urban. LOL
Yup. Same. *losers' chest bump* Man, the money's in country & western. Maybe not the beeeeg money, but enough to keep me in spendy tequila.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 11:58pm
I was wrong - I guessed Keith Urban. LOL
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Becky: Here's the top 25. Before you look, try to guess the highest ranked Aussie act (not whom I would have guessed):
http://www.forbes.com/pictures/eeel45ehmg/the-worlds-25-highest-paid-mus...
ONT: Many of the artists are tatted up.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 11:46pm.
Have you seen the 'Black Books' TV series he starred in?
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 11:35pm.
How did the Wiggles fare? They rake in millions from their merchandise sales alone.
As Dylan Moran says, "The only real reason I've come here is to kill a Wiggle."
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 11:30pm.
How did the Wiggles fare? They rake in millions from their merchandise sales alone.
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 11:23pm.
Well done you. $190m or something. You've also nailed the person who made the comment; I'd say more but...
Bon Jovi was No. 2, I think, at $125m. Gaga, $90m. Britney, Elton John blah blah. Surprisingly, Chad Morgan was No. 21 (I would have guessed higher).
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 11:06pm.
On an utterly OFT topic, did you see the list of music's biggest grossing acts for the past year? When I raised this at lunch, someone said, "Abba?" hahahaha Hint: No. 1 is on tour as we speak.
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Abba is a possible contender - the Abba franchise pulls in an amazing international revenue (Mama Mia stage show, cover bands like Bjorn Again etc). I did immediately visualize the person making that suggestion as wearing white satin culottes with a matching blouse. And I imagined that person as a male. A middle aged, hairy male. Call me sick. :)
The largest grossing music act is usually U2.
Completely undeserved.
Surprise me, who scored the top spot?
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 10:48pm.
I don't mean normal IQ; I mean marriage IQ. Like, anyone who immediately worries about the "death do us part" bit. But a simple two-strikes rule is easier to administer.
On an utterly OFT topic, did you see the list of music's biggest grossing acts for the past year? When I raised this at lunch, someone said, "Abba?" hahahaha Hint: No. 1 is on tour as we speak.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 10:40pm.
"...too dumb for marriage..."
I like the idea of I.Q. testing prospective hubbies. I don't think the proposal (get it!) would garner much support from the lucrative wedding industry.
Fear of bankruptcy.
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 10:27pm.
Oh, you think saying "serial husband" keeps things on topic???
Like my ex-BIL, some folks are not made for marriage. VG is one of them. Anyone who'd cheat on America's Sweetheart, worth trifirthery million, with a skankass ho (or four) is too dumb for marriage.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 10:10pm.
'Course, after you, anyone else would pale by comparison.
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SOOO fucking true!! LOL
He does have the serial husband gene - a combination of being unable to function solo and narcissistic control freak.
I'm sure I taunted it out of him. teehee
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 10:06pm.
So you're saying he's a convert to my two-strikes plan? 'Course, after you, anyone else would pale by comparison.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 9:57pm.
I was my ex's second wife (he's a lot older than me) and whenever he shat me about something I'd throw back with "Oh, go tell it to wife number three".
The taunting must have had some affect - he has no plans to marry his current live-in.
Kinda funny.
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 9:50pm.
I'm happy to forfeit my right to even the second fuck up - once was enough.
Forfeited! My sis's ex once said, when coyly telling us he planned to marry for the third time, "I guess I'm just the marrying kind!" Later, a family friend said, "No you're not, asshole: You're the divorcing kind." haha
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 9:45pm.
Sorry Rusty, didn't see you under there!
Bet all the girls say that.
Not really. If you mean the so-called "grandstand incident," I was looking for my car keys. Throughout the second half.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 9:47pm.
Getting married more than twice seems dumb to me. I'd outlaw it. Anyone can screw up once. You screw up twice, it's on you and you're out of strikes. 'Course, if any state ever passed such a law, the Grammer Society or something would claim it's unconstitutional.
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I'm happy to forfeit my right to even the second fuck up - once was enough.
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Getting married more than twice seems dumb to me. I'd outlaw it. Anyone can screw up once. You screw up twice, it's on you and you're out of strikes. 'Course, if any state ever passed such a law, the Grammer Society or something would claim it's unconstitutional.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 9:40pm
Sorry Rusty, didn't see you under there!
Bet all the girls say that. :D
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Her face has become something only a Roswell theorist could appreciate.
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Submitted by becky n sydney on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 7:08pm.
Does that mean their new viral strain is official?
haaaaaaaaaaa. Yes, Gorilla-Drachenberg Herpes Complex 8.
I just got a cold chill. Anyone else think they try to get a wedding/newlywed reality show?
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PERMA-Giggle, for the love of Chuck...
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It's all fun and games until Kimberly Stewart gets knocked up with Benicio Del Toro's baby.
MK 4/11/11
"Hunchback with a withered arm" --
LMFAO^^^^^^^^^^!!!!
Best Comment Yet!!!
Ding*Ding*Ding!!!
WE HAVE A WINNER!!!
Thanks for the permanent-giggle : )
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It's all fun and games until Kimberly Stewart gets knocked up with Benicio Del Toro's baby.
MK 4/11/11
Slut von Pee is looking more and more like a post apocalyptic Cher.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
Does that mean their new viral strain is official?
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Rod & The Faces I'm Losing You
Did she get plastic surgery on her arms? they look freakishly disproportionate.
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Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.
Submitted by REDMOND on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:34pm.
I love tattoos, but only a real tard would get one on their face.
As I always say, unless you're Maori, a face tat is a big mistake.
re: PepperMillonthefloss
wow, that's low even for him.
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"I'm gonna end up back in the gutter, sucking meth for cock." - drunk Naomi in Still Waiting...
"Wrist full of colorful rubberbands!" - album reviewer extraordinaire Khia
quite fittingly...
http://j.mp/f89sny
Submitted by Rosemary Young on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:43pm.
I think people started qualifying the word anniversary with "year" when they started talking about (non-existant, IMO) one-week/one-month/six-month/etc. "anniversaries" that commemorate shorter periods of time.
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I think if people want to commemorate ANY period of time and call it an "anniversary" they should and good for them.
And if you want to adhere to the old traditions, and give the proper gift for the proper anniversary year well, have fun with that I guess.
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"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs
Your pedantry is most refreshing. Nice to know the definition of annus.... ;)
Submitted by Rosemary Young on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:43pm.
I may be the last person in the English-speaking world who notices this (my own version of the "Who Cares News"?!) but the phrase "one-year anniversary" contains a redundancy. The word "anniversary" means a *yearly* occurence; the root word is the Latin "annus" (year). The correct phrase would thus be "first anniversary" (or "second/third/fourth/etc. anniversary").
Its nice that MK doesn't just post about beautiful people.
What on earth did she do to her face? It looks like a Halloween mask. She sure has horrible taste in men.
KVD is more proof that unless you have massive jug ears or a proper toucan beak, you should never have surgery on your face.
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
He is full of regret.
He does not love her.
She is crazee about him.
This will not end well.
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"I'd hate to have to go around thinking of health & shit like that." Keith Richards, 1997
Turn the hose on them!
She'd be OK looking if it weren't for those awful tattoos.
@JilltheRipper - lol I call 'em like I see 'em!
OT - in NYC right now it is raining like HELL! Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening!
vomit
catfight357 on
on the left, and she had that much work done
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Submitted by yepyepyep on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:02pm.
SHE WAS PRETTY before damn
http://www.celebrityplasticsurgery.tv/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/kan-von...
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ok I don't know which one is her.... am I that dumb? Or has she had that much work.
Submitted by angry_secretary on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 2:00pm.
Submitted by karen on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 1:45pm.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
what a joke. remember janine? she was covered with tats, he married her and cheated on her. i give this marriage 2 years tops if it even happens. he disgusts me. i feel sorry for janine, that bastard jesse is making life hell for her. no wonder she keeps relapsing. he wants her too. bastard.
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really? how is he making her life hell? I'm just curious, because I feel bad for janine too, and she seems like a nice enough chick.
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MY (PepperMillonthefloss) answer would be that he ignores the court orders for Janine's visitation with their daughter. Then he had her arrested for harassment for sending emails and calling to see her daugher, it is presumed. She is claiming "parental alienation" with the implication that he turns the daughter against the mother so even when she does see her mother she doesn't have a "real" relationship with the Mom. I would guess he has done the same with Sandra, too. When I read the reports that Sandra was not longer seeing the daugher, I assumed VG poisoned that relationship, as well. I believe he is that f*cked. Kat is a total idiot.
She has no natural beauty whatsoever. If it weren't for all her tattoos she'd look like any other Hollywood bimbo and no one would give her a second glance.
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That and no shame what so ever in whoring herself out with every opportunity she gets.
On her show she seems pretty much ok, for a tabloid celebrity, but if she is as badass as she would like to be, she wouldn't really care about the Hollywood hype.
Submitted by Vicvoc on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:55pm.
She was so pretty before the plastic surgery: http://www.cirugiasdeestrellas.com/2010/11/cirugias-plasticas-de-kat-von...
I dont understand why she have to mess with her face like that
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She almost has a Tater Head face. What happened to her lips? They're sinking into all the plastic. She looks hideous. They deserve each other.
It bothers me that he continues to wear the suit and tie Sandra bought him. He needs to stay true to his adolescent cholo-wear and stop trying to pass as an adult.
Submitted by agirl on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 12:04pm.
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A hunchback with a withered arm! That was fucking hilarious to me for some reason.
Thank you.
Submitted by karen on Fri, 06/17/2011 - 1:45pm.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
what a joke. remember janine? she was covered with tats, he married her and cheated on her. i give this marriage 2 years tops if it even happens. he disgusts me. i feel sorry for janine, that bastard jesse is making life hell for her. no wonder she keeps relapsing. he wants her too. bastard.
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really? how is he making her life hell? I'm just curious, because I feel bad for janine too, and she seems like a nice enough chick.
- - - - - - - -
"I'm gonna end up back in the gutter, sucking meth for cock." - drunk Naomi in Still Waiting...
"Wrist full of colorful rubberbands!" - album reviewer extraordinaire Khia
quite fittingly...
http://j.mp/f89sny