Trashy Ass Bitches Of The Day

June 17, 2011 / Posted by:

Fear not, Canucks fans! Today, some garbage pail ruffians in Orlando are showing the world that Vancouver isn’t the only city that will bust into a brawl for the stupidest reason.

The Casey Anthony trial has become the hottest ticket in Orlando and some people are sleeping in line overnight to get a seat to some shit you can watch from the comfort of your futon. The line starts at 8:30pm the night before for 58 spots reserved for the public. The line usually fills up fast and just like when you throw a piece of moldy hot dog into a mob of rats, bitches hiss and air bite at each other. But early this morning, shit got violent for the first time. Oh, Florida, what would I be without you?!

Jessie Dorris tells ABC News that when court officials started shuffling the line closer to the court house at 5:30am, some dudes got bold and tried to cut in front of them. Nobody cuts on Jessie’s watch! Jessie’s friend Dustin tried to cut in front of the asshole who cut in front of him, but he ended up in a choke hold. This is why UFC moves should be taught during every elementary school P.E. class in Florida.

To try to get her friend out of the choke hold, Jessie started punching at the dude and that’s when it all turned into a fist tornado (not that kind, John Travolta, pull your panties up). Eventually, the brawl was broken up and all parties involved received a certificate of appreciation from the state for keeping the fist flying foolery alive in Florida.

Okay, if you want to spend your day off standing in line to see a child murderess up close, then YAY for you. If you are okay with scrapping with a dumbass while waiting in said line, then another YAY for you. But I draw the line when you think it’s okay to show your face on camera and identify yourself as someone who got into a brawl while waiting in line for the Casey Anthony trial. At least have some sense to know that you do not want to be known as the person who got into a brawl while waiting in line for the CASEY FUCKING ANTHONY TRIAL! Get some education, people!

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