Cock Of Ages

June 17, 2011 / Posted by:

This is the first look at Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx in the Rock of Ages movie and I don’t know whether he’s completely unaware or if he gets a tingle where it counts knowing that tons of foolish bitches (like yours truly) will exercise their Photoshop right by replacing that phallic black tube with something that has a urethra and isn’t afraid to use it. This is aching for dick like bad! And beyond that, Tommy Girl looking like a swirl of Fabio and Creed has my retinas as frazzled and fried as that way-too-happy trail of bush leading down to his Xenu peen. The things it’s seen! Shit, the thing I’ve just seen. I’m gonna need an audit and a barley water eye wash.

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