Fuck me. I have been forced to officially change my born name to my junior high school nickname of Dyke-al now that one of Michelle Duggar’s baby making franchises has birthed out her second child and decided to stake her claim to the letter M.
Michelle Duggar and Jim Bob’s oldest son Josh and his wife Anna are keeping with the family tradition by popping out babies like her pussy is Angry Birds on speed and they plan to give all their kin children a first name that starts with the same letter. Michelle Duggar has J and now Josh Duggar has M. The alphabet hasn’t been this scared since Richard Pryor guest starred on Sesame Street.
People reports that 22-year-old Anna Duggar vag burped out an 8lb baby boy at their home in Arkansas yesterday evening. Anna’s made her first sacrifice to the Duggar Dynasty, a girl named MacKynzie, 20 months ago. But the worst part is that Anna and Josh have fired shots by naming their second son: MICHAEL JAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you gathered all the Michaels up in the world, we could all march up into Michelle Duggar’s double wide baby slide and hold a conference of Michaels in her uterus’ waiting room. That’s a lot of Michaels! So not only have Anna and Josh added another Michael to the planet when we’re already Michaeled fucking out, but they’re also going to chew up the letter M until it resembles one of Michelle’s fallopian tubes.
Now I have some name change documents to fill out while I push sad snots out of my eyes and tears out of my nose. I’ll also push one out for Anna’s uterus, because it has no idea that it’s about to become the Kunta Kinte of wombs.