Tacky Ass Hos Being Tacky Ass Hos

June 14, 2011 / Posted by:

Sometimes when an extremely wealthy bitch marries another extremely wealthy bitch, they decide that they are already have enough things between them so they ask their extremely wealthy guests to make a charitable donation in their honor, or shit like that. But not the Kardashians! For the Kardashians, charity begins at home and never makes it out the front door.

UsWeekly points us to the wedding registry of the gutter whore Muppet and her rock faced fiance, and damn those heifers are greedy. Kim Kardashian’s engagement ring cost $2 million so obviously those two mop water skanks can afford to buy their own $670 plates and $325 paper weight, but they are still asking their guests to do it for them! Here’s just a few of the tacky ass shit they registered for at Gearys of Beverly Hills.

A $325 black nude resting statue by Lalique for Kim to plug up her poon with when it snores too loud in the middle of the night and wakes Kris up.

A $670 platinum plate by Hermes for Kris Jenner to entertain Kris Humphries’ simple ass with so he won’t go and get into trouble. Kris’ eyeballs likes shiny things!

A $260 pair of ice tongs that will Kim will use to pull the wet tarantula legs off of her eyelids when she doesn’t want to get tar on her fingers.

A $640 crystal decanter by Baccarat that will hold Kris Humphries’ soul after Father Lucifer commands the bride’s mother to suck the life out of her groom.

A $120 serving spoon that Kim will use to scoop out the 50 pounds of foundation from each of her pores.

In addition to all that crap, they also asked for $38,000 worth of place settings, a $7,850 vase and a $175 mustard jar.

Here’s hoping that Khloe Kardashian gets chocolate wasted from the Godiva fountain and body slams onto the gift table, breaking everything. If there is a God!

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