Hot Slut Of The Day!

Junrey Balawing, the world’s new shortest man alive!

Junrey might look like an adorable child who has a slight case of the Benjamin Button’s, but he just turned 18 on Sunday making him a man! Junrey celebrated his first tiny step into adulthood with a pint he could swim in, a chocolate bar he could dance with and a framed plaque from Guinness World Records declaring him the tiniest man at 22 inches tall. To put things into perspective, 22 inches is about the average size of one of Tommy Girl’s lifts, is slightly shorter than John Travolta’s prostate wand and about the same length as the escape rope Michelle Duggar’s uterus has made using placenta bits and fetus hair.

While partying with his dad and mom (whose name is CONCEPCION!!!, by the way) at their village in the Philippines, Junrey said that he hopes to become the world’s tiniest husband soon, “I am so excited! I am small, but now I am a man. I have tried beer for the first time. I like it but can only have a little. I want a beautiful wife. I know she will probably be taller than me. I can’t wait for my party.” That shit right there is the lyrics to Justin Bieber’s next single.

Congrats to Junrey! You may be small, but you can literally bathe in a bucket of booze and you can ride a chicken like a pony. These are things that most bitches can only dream about doing!