Hot Slut Of The Day!

The Tony Awards were last night and DAMN those theater Thespians pour massive amounts of raw emotion and melodramatic queen theatrics into their acceptance speeches. Most of them should’ve won another Tony for the performance they gave while accepting their award. Like Nikki M. James, the chick who won Best Supporting Actress in a Musical for Book of Mormon, thanked the wind and told a story about how physicists couldn’t figure out how bees were able to fly. “They did it because nobody told them that they couldn’t because of sheer will and determination. I come from a long line of bumble bees. I am so grateful that nobody ever told me I couldn’t do it, that I couldn’t fly,” said Nikki as even the bees were like, “WTF is this bitch on?!” It’s called being high from THE STAGE!!!!

Ellen Barkin’s face nearly fell off when she tried to push out real tears during her speech and Frances McDormand put all of us on the front of a bus headed directly to Crazy Town during her speech, but they still couldn’t come close to the speech of the night which came from Mark Rylance.

Mark won Best Actor in a Play for his performance in Jerusalem and just like he did when he won a Tony in 2008, he read a poem by Louis Jenkins. I don’t want to ruin his speech with my words so I’ll just give it to you raw.

I wasn’t even close to being stoned before watching Mark’s speech, but my head was stuck in a cloud of the good shit by the end. I swear, they should turn that entire speech into a Broadway play. They also need to bottle whatever it is that runs through theater people’s veins when they’re on THE STAGE because I need me some of that crazy shit.