Treatment For Weiner

June 11, 2011 / Posted by:

Nancy Pelosi wants Weiner to pull out of congress, his wife is pregnant with their first child, he was under investigation for possibly making Chris Hansen’s brow lift by having an online relationship with a 17 year old girl and so naturally he’s trying to solve all of his problems by checking into a Tweetment treatment center! Because when all else fails, hide your face (and wang) in rehab!

A rep for Anthony Weiner’s office didn’t say if he was officially going to resign (the rumor is he’s going to do so next week when his wife comes back from the Middle East), but she did issue a statement of words which basically translates into “We hit the DAMAGE CONTROL button and it opened a trap door to rehab.”

“Congressman Weiner departed this morning to seek professional treatment to focus on becoming a better husband and healthier person. In light of that, he will request a short leave of absence from the House of Representatives so that he can get evaluated and map out a course of treatment to make himself well.”

Congressman Weiner takes the views of his colleagues very seriously and has determined that he needs this time to get healthy and make the best decision possible for himself, his family and his constituents.”

Oh, I see he’s going to that same rehab for dumb fucks Tiger Woods graduated from. First of all, a grown ass man talking to a teenager whose parents he doesn’t know is never a good thing. It might end with your wrists in plastic handcuffs and Chris Hansen throwing you looks of judgement with those sultry eyes of his. Stay away from teenagers completely (that is a rule for everybody).

Second of all, I have the judgement of a cat in heat and the brain of a discarded garden toilet, and even I know how to take naked pictures if I don’t want to get caught. Never show even a tip of your chin and always pose in front of a green screen so you can Photoshop in your background of choice. Always use an off-shore e-mail address (that made no sense) and keep all copies of the pictures safely stored in a cock ring flash drive. It’s not hard.

Does the 9th district really want a congressman who doesn’t know how to do cyber ho shit the right way?

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