Which Giant Piece Is Hayden Panettiere Climbing On Today?

June 8, 2011 / Posted by:

Hayden Pantiesupintheair immediately denied the rumor that Mark Sanchez tossed her across the room, ran to the other side and caught her gnome-gina with his peen. UsWeekly says that Hayden is telling the truth about that, because she’s getting on a different player from the New York Jets. The tramp of the treasure troll world was seen yesterday in West Hollywood with the Jets wide receiver Scotty McKnight.

A source says that when Hayden was seen at In-N-Out with Mark Sanchez on Memorial Day in Laguna Beach, Scotty McKnight was with them. When UsWeekly asked Hayden about the Mark Sanchez thing a few days ago, she said, “I’m a huge Jets fan and became very good friends with Mark and his buddies. I’ve always been that girl who has a lot of dude friends. I’m into sports so we have a lot in common.

If Hayden is the pass around patty for the New York Jets, I swear I’m going to go into the enchanted forest and beg the wish fairy (or Gay Al) to turn me into a dolphin-loving, stumpy elf who has the boyish charm of Cathy Rigby. Some trolls get all the luck (and football dick).

Hayden is starting a serious athlete fetish. If she traded her soul and morals in for a hippo ass, a Species face, and a whorey baby voice, Kris Jenner would totally adopt her.

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

alt="drupal analytics" >