Rohan Marley Just Raised Maury's Brow
This past weekend at a show in Detroit, Lauryn Hill declared to the audience that she's taking a break from showing up 3 hours late to concerts to tend her 6th child who is currently leasing space in her womb. Most of us figured that Lauryn's boyfriend of forever and father of her 5 kids, Rohan Marley, was the one who blew her ovaries a testicle kiss full of semen. Rohan says that we would be wrong in assuming that.
Rohan sang every track on his new album The Misspermification of Lauryn Hill yesterday on Twitter and subtly denied with a creepy wink that he's not the daddy. Ro's Twitter denial has since been deleted, but Chron.com broke it down for us:
Soon after Lauryn Hill announced that she is pregnant with her sixth child, Rohan Marley took to Twitter to state that he was not the father (Maury Povich style!). Hip-Hop Wired tweeted a link to their story announcing Hill’s pregnancy. Soon after, a tweet from @RoMarley, replied, “2 things, I’m not married and I don’t have anyone expecting anything.”The Rohan Marley Twitter account is verified, so we’re going to assume that it’s really him. As far as the baby not being his, a Clutch Magazine writer by the name of @BritniDWrites engaged him in further conversation. She tweeted to him, “so we are clear: 1) you’re not married to your ex-wife or Lauryn, and 2) she isn’t preggo w/your child, but someone else’s?”
His response was a vague, “That is correct until I say out of my mouth to the contrary.”
The writer replied, “Ok. I’ll take it. But you do realize that the ‘until I say something contrary’ addendum cast doubt on your statement.”
The last thing Marley tweeted her was, “trust me, the info out there is so incorrect for so many years…Thx for twitter. I check a few things.”
Was it White Oprah who said, "Lines aren't for reading between they're for snorting?"
Why doesn't Rohan just come out and say it. Typing "I AM NOT THE FATHER" is easier than typing a bunch of Scooby Snacks with no protein. Stop beating around my bush, Ro! (No, seriously, please don't beat around any of my bushes because I don't think prenatal vitamins mix well with morning whiskey.)
Rohan just sounds like a major asshole with dick that makes a bitch loopy. No wonder Lauryn went crazy. She squatted on the tip and she's never been the same since.
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Submitted by Goldigga on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:24am.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:10am.
I just pictured Eddie Murphy's bit on "Dexter" from Jamaica twirling his big dick "gerrl, wut chya crayin bout?" lololll
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Dexter St Jaques! Fucking LOL! "What a beautiful gel like you doing bah herself on the ayland 'o lov?"
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if u wuz mah garl I'd mek luv to u cawn-stunt-LEE.
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"El programa nacional de bilingüismo refinish unpronounced Generic Viagra obfuscation lira Keflex and alcohol husbandman prey Valium cat Drover Forty" ~ a dumbass spammer
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:10am.
I just pictured Eddie Murphy's bit on "Dexter" from Jamaica twirling his big dick "gerrl, wut chya crayin bout?" lololll
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Dexter St Jaques! Fucking LOL! "What a beautiful gel like you doing bah herself on the ayland 'o lov?"
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:10am.
Submitted by spankypants on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:07am.
One never recovers from island dick.
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I just pictured Eddie Murphy's bit on "Dexter" from Jamaica twirling his big dick "gerrl, wut chya crayin bout?" lololll
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THIS!!!! Yes, Eddie warned us all. Oh Lauryn, you should have listened. Eddie knows dick.
Other dicks to approach with caution:
Latin (I'm a current victim)
German (wild as fuck)
Submitted by ba-buttons on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:02am.
Then she decided that she didn't like white people buying her albums. Seeing as they were the only people dumb enough to buy her shitty music, her career pretty much ended then, save for live shows where she performs like shit and shows up 3-4 hours late.
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I truly do not believe she ever said that. Someone claimed that they 'heard' her say that, but she denied that.
I am not a huge fan of hers by any means, but based on everyone who knew her-even as far back as high school-she had friends of every race and ethnic group.
It's amazing to me how after so many years, people still believe she said that when there is no recording or proof she ever said it.
Submitted by Stoney on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:18am.
I think that is pretty much been proven to be a rumor. Doesn't really matter she ruined her own career either way.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Eminem actually wrote one of his songs with the lyrics "bought Lauren Hill's album so her kids would starve" because she is rumored to have said she would rather her kids starved than a white person buy her album. It's never been proven that she said that but I wouldn't doubt it.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Countdown to the poster with the naked chick avie to call us all racist assholes and/or STD filled buckets.
I am so bored today. So much work but no motivation.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
And remember folks, they call Lohan "Rohan" in Japan. Just thought I'd throw that in for no reason whatsoever.
snowy - I know, it's driving me fuckin nuts...
*thumbs downsy*
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"El programa nacional de bilingüismo refinish unpronounced Generic Viagra obfuscation lira Keflex and alcohol husbandman prey Valium cat Drover Forty" ~ a dumbass spammer
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:45am.
this would have been a lot more of an interesting story if i knew who the fuck either one of these people are.
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LOL!
there is some Weston Cage shit going on with the italics today, MK! Just sayin'
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
I have her album (CD) somehow I have it I did not buy it, and for some reason her songs and M&M I cant stand, I heard she had a malfunction, but the people belive that the Illuminati is trying to keep her down, but now that I read your post about being with a married man that makes sense, she gave up her career for "love" and there you have it. And the guy sounds like an asswhipe
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Let's see... 6 babies x 9 months = 54 MONTHS OF BEING PREGNANT!!! Hell. NO. I will never understand bitches with more than 3 kids. Fuck that.
What UVY just said!
*points to Uvy's avie*
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"El programa nacional de bilingüismo refinish unpronounced Generic Viagra obfuscation lira Keflex and alcohol husbandman prey Valium cat Drover Forty" ~ a dumbass spammer
Submitted by spankypants on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:07am.
One never recovers from island dick.
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I just pictured Eddie Murphy's bit on "Dexter" from Jamaica twirling his big dick "gerrl, wut chya crayin bout?" lololll
_____________________________________________
"El programa nacional de bilingüismo refinish unpronounced Generic Viagra obfuscation lira Keflex and alcohol husbandman prey Valium cat Drover Forty" ~ a dumbass spammer
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:04am.
Submitted by TOPANGA on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:57am.
ITA. This woman has wasted her life trying to get this man to love her. And I am sure he loves her in his own twisted sociopathic way. He has ruined her life and has done it knowingly and willingly. They both disgust me.
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She likes her men previously spoken for (Wyclef, anyone?). All that girl power music and turns out she's just another desperate I'll take your man (fail) hooker type individual.
He sounds like a piece of work but he ain't no prize, either. Put the dick down, close your legs and both of you shut the fuck up.
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
If the baby is a mouf breaver, it's Diddy's. Keep Flava Flav on speed dial just in case.
One never recovers from island dick.
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:01am.
and Gabrielle (whatever her name was - she played the 80 year-old high school student on 90210.)
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This. LMAO!
Add two more suspects: Lil Wayne and the director of X-Men First Class. Please step to the left and submit a sample.
Submitted by ba-buttons on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:02am.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:45am.
this would have been a lot more of an interesting story if i knew who the fuck either one of these people are.
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He's a nobody.
She's a singer who tagged along with the Fugees fame and then had a brief (thank god) solo career thanks to a poor-quality cover of a Roberta Flack song.
Then she decided that she didn't like white people buying her albums. Seeing as they were the only people dumb enough to buy her shitty music, her career pretty much ended then, save for live shows where she performs like shit and shows up 3-4 hours late.
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i stand corrected... this WOULDN'T be more interesting if i knew who the fuck these people are... thanks, though!... heehee!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Maybe Jim Bob Duggar is the daddy. That would make a helluva next season...
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by TOPANGA on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:57am.
ITA. This woman has wasted her life trying to get this man to love her. And I am sure he loves her in his own twisted sociopathic way. He has ruined her life and has done it knowingly and willingly. They both disgust me.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 10:01am.
Don't forget Donahue, Geraldo, Carnie Wilson, Tempest Bledsoe and Gabrielle (whatever her name was - she played the 80 year-old high school student on 90210.)
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ahahahaha GABRIELLE CAR TEAR ASS!!! AND RICKI LAKE!! But Richard Bey was my favorite, with those enormous chicks rolling around in melted chocolate in kiddy pools, the golden age of TV is certainly behind us!!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:45am.
this would have been a lot more of an interesting story if i knew who the fuck either one of these people are.
--------------------------------------------------
He's a nobody.
She's a singer who tagged along with the Fugees fame and then had a brief (thank god) solo career thanks to a poor-quality cover of a Roberta Flack song.
Then she decided that she didn't like white people buying her albums. Seeing as they were the only people dumb enough to buy her shitty music, her career pretty much ended then, save for live shows where she performs like shit and shows up 3-4 hours late.
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It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:59am.
WHY STOP? CHARLES PEREZ HAS BEEN CLAWING AT HIS FACE FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS. SALLY JESSE IS ALSO ON CALL WITH A BIG DOLLOP OF RICHARD BEY ON TOP!!
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Don't forget Donahue, Geraldo, Carnie Wilson, Tempest Bledsoe and Gabrielle (whatever her name was - she played the 80 year-old high school student on 90210.)
Lauryn has disappointed me. She used her songs to warn women of the consequences of foolish behaviour. Now she has allowed herself to become a human incubator to this waste of space who puts her down on the internet. Such a shame.
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It's not that serious.
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:55am.
Sounds like her period's always late, too.
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*dies*
You hos are on FIRE today!
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by Slurpee on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:49am.
So, wait....they've had five kids together all the while he's still married to someone else?!?! Forget Maury, this is some Jerry Springer shit. Hell, even Jenny Jones might be needed for this one!
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WHY STOP? CHARLES PEREZ HAS BEEN CLAWING AT HIS FACE FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS. SALLY JESSE IS ALSO ON CALL WITH A BIG DOLLOP OF RICHARD BEY ON TOP!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Is this the summer of Who's Yo Daddy? Makes me almost miss Summer of Death '09.
What will we get first? Another crotch/titty iPhone shot or another starlet knocked up by God knows who? Stay classy, Hollywood.
This guy sounds like a total d*ck. I'm dissappointed that the "old" Lauryn Hill who sang to young girls to not get caught up in "That Thing" totally got caught up in "That Thing" herself. Yes, a woman has a right to choose who they fall in love and get caught up with, but a man who uses that to his advantage and plays head games is just as much at fault and a total a**hole. Those kids (whose ever they are) are going to need a lot of therapy. Their mom is a Looney Tunes baby maker and their "dad" is an egotistical a**hole. SMH
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"I was half a virgin when I met him!"
-Mean Girl,Regina George
Submitted by RustyHooligan on Wed, 06/08/2011 - 9:55am.
Sounds like her period's always late, too.
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ROFL!!! Hahahahahahaa!
LMAO, Sweetas!!!
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"El programa nacional de bilingüismo refinish unpronounced Generic Viagra obfuscation lira Keflex and alcohol husbandman prey Valium cat Drover Forty" ~ a dumbass spammer
She's known for showing up three hours late for her concerts? Who would ever go to one of her concerts, then? She could be handing out cash and I wouldn't wait three hours.
Sounds like her period's always late, too.
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The World's a Mess; It's in My Kiss
Also, this guy needs to be in politics with lines like “That is correct until I say out of my mouth to the contrary".
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I m disappointed by the lack of "Lawd` ave Mercy"`s in the tweets.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Ahahaha snowy!! "No way dat bebe be mine, mon"
lmfao snowy!!
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"El programa nacional de bilingüismo refinish unpronounced Generic Viagra obfuscation lira Keflex and alcohol husbandman prey Valium cat Drover Forty" ~ a dumbass spammer
“trust me, the info out there is so incorrect for so many years..."
This, in particular, intrigues my nosy ass.
What???
*sits and spins on Jack's thumb*
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Rohan just sounds like a major asshole with dick that makes a bitch loopy. No wonder Lauryn went crazy. She squatted on the tip and she's never been the same since.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
So, wait....they've had five kids together all the while he's still married to someone else?!?! Forget Maury, this is some Jerry Springer shit. Hell, even Jenny Jones might be needed for this one!
Well it's not mine!
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
"Rohan sang every track on his new album The Misspermification of Lauryn Hill"
OMG LMAO holy shit! MK, you've been making me bust out laughing all morning and my coworkers probably think I came in drunk.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
I still see the main issue here is YOU GOT TOO MANY DAMN KIDS!!!
*gives MK a fucking THUMBS UP*
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"El programa nacional de bilingüismo refinish unpronounced Generic Viagra obfuscation lira Keflex and alcohol husbandman prey Valium cat Drover Forty" ~ a dumbass spammer
I bet Flavor Flav's the baby-daddy!
That's why you dont have 6 kids with a man who won't marry you....cause HE IS MARRIED TO SOMEONE ELSE! Stupid, stupid woman. Should have stayed making music.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009