The Human (?) Barbie Gives Her 7-Year-Old Daughter The Best Gift Of All

June 8, 2011 / Posted by:

When Botox Mom turned out to be Hoax Mom, I figured it was only a matter of time before other shameless moms started flashing their fuckery under the brightest street lamp on the ho stroll. Well, it didn’t take long. 50-year-old Sarah Burge (aka The Human Barbie) bragged to Closer Magazine that for her daughter Poppy’s 7th birthday, she got her a computer, a spa vacation, a crystal ring and a voucher for her to get a tit job when she turns 16. This shouldn’t come as a shock since The Human Barbie openly bragged to the tabloids last year about how she teaches Poppy how to work the stripper pole. Yes, Kris Jenner you have found your spirit animal in Cambridgeshire, England. Run to her.

Wayland Flowers Ghost stuck his hand up The Human Barbie’s ass and got her to say, “Poppy begged me for a boob job, so I gave her the voucher so she can have it after she’s 16, when it’s legal. If she develops naturally big boobs, she can have something else done with it. Some people think it’s controversial and I get angry when strangers say I’m a bad mother because I don’t think there’s any harm in giving her this gift. Poppy is a normal kid who is good at sports and loves playing outside. Girls don’t want Snow White and Cinderella any more. They want to be WAGs and famous like Cheryl Cole and Lady Gaga. I’m just supporting her and making her dreams come true.”

Poppy told Closer that all her friends are jealous and she really can’t wait to get Hefty bags full of silicone stuffed into her chest like her mom!

The Human Barbie, who makes her cash from writing erotic, throwing swingers parties and murdering her daughter’s childhood for a tabloid check, has spent over $100,000 on plastic surgery to look like Barbie. Yes, Barbie. Bitch looks more like a warped Stanley Ipkiss doll in Blaine’s weave and Moxie’s dress, but I guess that’s close enough for her.

I wouldn’t say you were lying if you said The Human Barbie is a monstrous mound of dead flesh who shouldn’t be in charge of raising an old breast implant, but come on. A voucher? Really? Poppy should’ve told The Human Barbie the same thing my mom told me when I gave her a “free car wash” voucher for Mother’s Day one year: “You spent all your allowance money on Pop Rocks and Wuzzles, right?

This Madam looking creature only got her daughter a tit voucher so that the tabloids and stupid blogs like this one can give her some attention. A voucher ain’t worth shit. But Poppy should still hold on to that voucher and use it when she’s 16 to get a face transplant surgery so nobody will ever know that she’s related to The Human Barbie.

And part of me thinks this is just a performance art PSA produced by Child Protective Services.

via Daily Mail

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