Tuesday, June 7th 2011
Open Post: Hosted By A Mad Ass Movie Theater Texter
Above is a NSFWish voicemail from a citizen of the Magnited States of America who called the customer service line for Austin's Alamo Drafthouse Theater to bitch and whine about getting her ass put on the curb after she received two warnings for texting during the movie. Well, you know that saying "When life hands you a priceless and rambling voicemail from a possibly drunken ho, make a PSA out of it"? Alamo Drafthouse did just that and now they will play homegirl's red red whiiiiiine before every R-rated movie.
I would definitely not go to the movie's with this girl. But I would totally let her lift me for a keg stand while she shouts, "MSA! MSA! MSA!!"
(Thanks Leah & Christopher)
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I saw Gay Men: Gay Class on Sunday morning at 10:30, it was great, no cell phones, no talking, just movie, and there was a lot of people there too! I would never go to the movies at night unless I hated the movie and myself.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:38pm.
It's so hard pour beer in to a flask, especially when you have the alkie shakes. The freshness factor is also an issue.
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that's what they make those helmets with double holders and a straw for, Jack... pfft! amatuer!... HA!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
It is also very hard to FINGER BANG your date with that stupid phone light on!!!
snowy - the attorneys you work with sound HOT. <-- not kidding lol
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:34pm.
Provy I really don't believe that hit was intended to be so hard. They replayed it 20 million fucking times and I don't think it was intentional.
What I couldn't understand is why when they were clearly outplaying us and were ahead, they kept fighting and picking on our players.
It was a pretty late hit. But it was his head hitting the ice that put him on a stretcher.
They needed to send a message. Nucks have some of the most agitating players in the league with Kesler, Burrows n Lapierre. B's need to smack them around n get in their face to let them know they're not gonna take it.
When your best player leaves in a neck brace you go out and get revenge. Can't wait for game 4. This series is getting hateful. :D
I lol'd at all the bruins players daring the canucks to bite their fingers. And Timmy T slamming Sedin on the ice, that was funny.
This is why I stopped going to the movies a few years back. People are fucking animals. I so prefer to stay home and watch my huge ass HDTV.
You make me hate my hips! I hate my hips!
They don't have matinees by me, you have to go at like 9:30 am to get a discounted price. So I do. Popcorn & Milk Duds for breakfast, and it's pretty empty.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Movie theater people suck! And it's soooooo cold!! lol! When I went to see Pirates 4, a little kid ...who probably can't read subtitles kept screaming at his mother!!! The movie was in 3D I was so scared I would freak out, yeah first 3D movie shit but it was alright 'cause I chose to be on the sides and really farrrrrr away. And then for Hangover 2 the bitch on my right kept talking and moving around,the she put the food tray besides my monkey feet!!!!! I wanted to slap her in the face. She did apologize AFTER the movie. Last time going. Haven't been there for years until last weekend. I'll just wait for movies to be out on DVD then.
Coma Caca!
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jg: at work I am surrounded by female lawyers, in the 20's and 30's who say LIKE every other damn word. Now I'm not going to say I NEVER say it, but they are out of control, sometimes I count and they will use it 5 or 6 times in one sentence!! plus they are meant to be professionals. they also do that THING? where they end every sentence? With a question mark?
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
The last time I went to a movie was in the 90's.
Jazz, yar that's what I said yesterday, IF we took last night a sweep but I hold to my 4-1 series prediction.
Ha-Ha - HILAROUS!!! Serves her dumb azz right. Movies aren't cheap anymore - WTF wants to hear someone texting or on their cell phone while you're watching a movie?! Between tickets and food you'll drop $20 - I want to watch my flix in quiet.
Take your azz outside if you are so damn important that you can't sit through a movie without grabbing your phone.
The last time I went to the movies with my friends - the usher came in RIGHT at the start and told folks anyone caught using their phone will be thrown out immediately. I was the first (but not only) person that clapped.
No body wants to be all up in your business while watching a $10 movie. And newsflash genius - the theaters are dark for a reason.
It's so hard pour beer in to a flask, especially when you have the alkie shakes. The freshness factor is also an issue.
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
In my fantasy world, every moron would get to see their speech transcripted this way so they can see exactly how stupid they sound.
Other fun ideas:
- a buzzer goes off in the speaker's ear every time they say "like," "um," "hella," "dude," "bro"
- women with annoyingly high-pitched nasal baby voices are forced to live with a continuous playback of their own voices in the background
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"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs
jack you lousy drunk that is what those metal water bottles are for!!! DUH.
Submitted by RichBitch on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:24pm.
He said I was better though.
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NO
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
EEG, you knew the Bruins had to win one to stretch it out a bit. It will be back to normal on the next game!
Provy I really don't believe that hit was intended to be so hard. They replayed it 20 million fucking times and I don't think it was intentional.
What I couldn't understand is why when they were clearly outplaying us and were ahead, they kept fighting and picking on our players. It made no sense.
Lu killed the major beautifully and then just plain lost it.
I hope they're happy cuz it sounds like this little girl went out and got drunk instead of watching a movie.
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
MJT: ITA, and people do suck in general, the movie the AYE ter just accentuates it! I much prefer to watch in the comfort of my own home anyway, where I can pause it if I have to pee and smoke a doob in peace.
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
Alamo Drafthouse is a pretty cool place. One of those theaters where you can order a pizza and a pitcher of beer. They even have "Big Lebowski quote-along's".
I'm glad they are kicking out the idiots disrupting the movies. What's the point of leaving the house if all you're going to do is text for 2 hours?
I think what homegirl meant to say was, the "OVERENTITLED STATES OF AMUR-I-KA".
Obviously she was bothering SOMEBODY. If they told her dumb ass twice to quit it, she had fair warning.
This is why I fucking hate being around the American public today.
I was walking my dog on a trail in the woods around a little wooded lake yesterday, where there were some teenage boys playing on a rope swing. As soon as I walked by with my dog, I happened to turn around, and one of the kids moseyed up to the TRAIL, and just started PISSING.
His back was to me, so I don't think he noticed I had turned around,but fucking STILL. Acres of trees, bushes, and woods all around, he's IN THEM with the rope swing, so he's not obviously not concerned about poison ivy or anything), and this little shit has to piss in the middle of the trail, in broad daylight. plain sight. fucking disgusting.
GET OFF MY LAAAAAAAAAAAAAWN, lil whiner!
♥ Threadkilla!
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
I think "There Will Be Blood" was the last movie i went to. Can't stand the movie theater.
Snowy - I hate going to the movies, too. I FEEL SO TRAPPED I CAN'T PAUSE IT NOR CAN I DRINK BEER PLEASE SHOVE ICE PICKS UNDER MY NAILS AND KICK ME IN THE GROIN THANKYOU!
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:26pm.
I refuse to go see movies in the movie theatre any more. I have the WORST luck. I always get stuck next to the screaming brat in an R rated movie or get stuck to someone who likes to talk in normal voice. The movie theatre actually makes me hate people.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
Submitted by EastEndGirl on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:27pm.
Whamo, I was going to aviod OP today (cause I am still crying and Provy will make it worse) lol.
R8bert8 Lu8ng8 had a rough go at it.
Nucks really are painting themselves as the bad guys in the series. Horton's arm looked like it had rigamortis after he got blown up.
"...and i'm pretty sure you guys were being assholes to me on purpose. thanks for making me feel like a customer."
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lmao at drunky mctexterton... I'm sure she is sitting in the floor propped up against a toilet while leaving the message. *swoon*
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"Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You fucking cunt." ~ the delicate Sweetas 04/21/11
Whamo, I was going to aviod OP today (cause I am still crying and Provy will make it worse) lol. We were outplayed and Thomas was simply outstanding. We should have pulled Lu for the third, big fucking mistake there.
but on to Game 4.
GO NUCKERS GO!!!
I too have been thrown out of Alamo Draft House. But not for being obnoxious but for trying to drink underage. I never did see the end of the Matrix. Oh well.
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Take a bow, freak. Jack-n-the-hat 10-5-2009
For what purpose was this created? A goddamn project for whore school? Sophie_003 10-6-2009
"Magnited States of America"
Palin's bus tour is in Austin?
I hate going to the movies, HATE! It's a torture for me!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
OKAY??? YA KNOW????
AHAHAHAAAA Hipster assholes 1; valley girls, 0.
Magnited States of America! Austin, you so hipstery.
Bwhaaa. ITA she'll sue & probably get a settlement.
HAHAHAHAHA! Reminds me of the time my drunk-ass friend got thrown out of Applebees and tried to call 911 on the bouncer who threw him out. It was fun trying to drive him home and pull his cell phone away from him at the same time.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Submitted by Genny18 on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:14pm.
And now we wait for her to sue.
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Missed your opening post- you nailed it spot on.
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"Money is the magic wand that turns a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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He said I was better though.
Haha the captions made it even funnier! I hate going to the movies now a days. People are so fucking rude! People talking to eachother or on the phone, people kicking seats, kids running up and down stairs, Teens laughing/fighting/talking loud as fuck, babies crying...The list is endless. That is why I only got to matinees now, it's cheap it's usually empty or filled with old people.
Submitted by Provolone on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:21pm.
I be Mr. S&F can stick his tongue so far up your asshole that he can tickle your back teeth. That is soooo hot.
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sometimes he picks my nose with it, he's like a slippery snake!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
damn, sucky's on a bowl...i mean ROLL...today.
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"yes, bitch - it IS caused by global warming."
-I predict this dumb twat will hire a lawyer, claim she is "emotionally distressed" from them playing her ranting v/m, and sue the movie theater.
Any one wanna bet?
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"Money is the magic wand that turns a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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I you're out there EEG what the fuck happened to your Cunucks last night? They got their ass handed to them on a platter AND managed to hand Boston a rallying cry you don't want them to have.
Late hit? 8-1 WTF??
Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:15pm.
I be Mr. S&F can stick his tongue so far up your asshole that he can tickle your back teeth. That is soooo hot.
LMAO @Sucky!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
if a vagina is a va jay jay, why isn't a penis a pe nay nay?
OMG, Alamo Drafthouse, please come to my town!
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Amnesty International
Shine a Light
Lmao!!!! Sucky
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Just sayin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFjyAOq341U&feature=channel_video_title
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!! And that kinda shit is what makes me wanna scream: Ignorant bitches who has nothing better to do than complain after her ignorant behavior had consequences. Kinda like, "if the road had not been so narrow, i wouldn`t have hit your car, cause i can txt and drive JUST FINE.
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAEs
Submitted by RichBitch on Tue, 06/07/2011 - 1:18pm.
sucky, I want a go on your dad! That can be his Father's Day present! ps. I give good head! :D
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BACK OFFFFFF BITTTTTTTTTTCHHHHHHHHHHH
FUCK SUCK MII ASSSSSSSS MOTHERFUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.