Let me start off by saying that for being exposed to the elements on planet earth for the past 50 years, Dennis Rodman is looking good. Now, we can wipe away that coat of sugar and get to the real shit. Whoever shook their head vertically when Dennis asked if he looked hot should be put on Rodman neck scrubbing duty for the next 10 weeks, because it’s wrong to lie to a bitch even on their birthday. A negligee from Joyce Leslie, workout pants and a rejected blouse from the Austin Powers costume closet cannot co-exist on the same body without the word “FUG” coming to mind at first sight. Dennis looks like he got dressed in the inside of a Salvation Army donation bin. How dreadful.
Dennis is trying to sell this look hard by posing with that cigar like he’s first runner-up in the Miss Clinton Intern 1996 pageant, but I cannot raise my pedal for this. Pink daisy pasties, pink plastic diaper panties and lucite mary janes paired with that negligee would’ve made him look like the ruff ‘n tumble queen he truly is.