On the left is Lady GaGa at the CFDA Awards in NYC tonight, and on the right is the legendary Ms. Swan easily winning this pose-off without even trying. In the wise words of Ms. Swan: “He look-a like-a man.”
If the Carver Killer from Nip/Tuck dressed in costume as Melanie Griffith from Something Wild using one a discarded wig found in Nicki Minaj’s back dumpster, he might look like this mess. It took me a few blinks and a couple times saying “Harpo, who dis woman?” to even realize this was the CaCa one herself and not some Asian trick in Cosplay drag. It’s like invisible monster hands are pinching her nose and pulling her eyes. Bitch’s face does not look like her own.
With all that being said, ho gets a couple of points for an impeccable eyebrow situation that even I can’t ignore. It takes several gallons of Clorox and melted down Sharpies to create eyebrows that make a cholita throw up her hands and thank los santos. To a chola, Sharpie brows on a CaCa are like Jesus’ face on a piece of toast.