The Twilight: Breaking Hymens Trailer Presented By Nutty Madam
Below is the first trailer for Twilight: Breaking Hymens with a Typhoon of Cooch Cream, which I'm sure millions of Twihards have already tried to legally marry on the Internet so that they can scoot naked all over in it in good conscious.
And above is the Twihard of all Twihards, Nutty Madam, giving her reaction to this mess while she's watching it. Nutty Madam took a break from answering phones for Dr. Fleischman to give a full body quivering orgasm that probably made her chair break the same way RPattz broke that damn bed. Yes, Nutty Madam turned up the fuckery for melodramatic purposes since she's an Internet star now, but still. In a matter of minutes, bitch's face is taking us from "falling in love with a puppy" to "watching a puppy get disemboweled."
And then when they get to the sex shit, lord. I bet Nutty Madam's cats were doing the backstroke in a river of panty pudding below her.
Seriously, that shit should be the real trailer.
• 
Nutty Madam. Wow. homegirl is batshit crazy.
I do like the movies, but dayum. I don't get the crying, obsessiveness and shit...like she has no f'ing life other than these movies...
First of all, that mountain of fat with the tic tac teefs was horrifying. Her rubbery blubbery lips... her black little nostrils... *shudder* THIS is what Pattinson has to deal with all the time. No WONDER he's afraid of vaginas!
And the trailer made me LOL. I'm still laughing. What is Taylor Lautner so worked up about? He likes the Kristen Stewart girl? Those two are fighting over that sheet of paper? *guffaws* No, I really don't get it. Not at ALL.
Never read the books or seen the movies,but I know a girl who is legit batshit over this shit. She even writes fanfiction and constantly buys twilight shit and is "TEAM Edward" she's annoying and weird, and black. Black people shouldn't be this uncool. But yea, haven't watch this shit pile. Don't plan on watching this shit pile. No one in that cast personally is attractive to me. Fuck this horse shit for being considered a cinematic masterpiece, instead of what it really is. Legal cinematic soft-core for the teenage set. FUCK EM ALLL!
P.s. Nothing was on so I flipped through and the mtv movie awards was on, of course it was bombarded with twilight and harry potter. Robert Pattinson kissed Taylor Launter...I was like ooooh woopiedoo. Been done! The whole show was just like a twilight movie. HORRIBLE!
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Please get the fuck out ---->
I guess all the talk tomorrow will be Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon dropping F-bombs at the MTV Awards. The censors weren't fast enough for his. And then they had some seven-year old following accepting some award. Audience looked awkward.
Fraggle's picture
Submitted by Fraggle on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 9:15pm.
misslainey on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 8:24pm.
I'm sorry, but I have never gotten into this series, so I don't understand all the mass hysteria about a chick and some vampires and werewolves. Really? Is it really that titillating
I don't get it either, but, I grew up in a home where rock music was 'satan speaking in reverse' and 'horror movies' were soul stealers and yet I partook of the latter plenty and THEN some because of aforementioned Margaret Brigman bitch I survived.
Why can't we have some GAY vampire movies? The original vampire movies were FLAMING gay if you paid attention. All of this 'hetero' vampire crap is a lie and a joke.
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Sounds like we grew up in similar homes, lol! I just had an hour long convo with my mom about the Illuminati and how Jay-Z had Tupac killed because he's "into that". Also, Rihanna, MJ and a host of others that I don't remember who have sold their soul to the devil.
I agree about the vampire movies. I can't remember the name of it, but there was a movie with Vincent Price and I think he was a vampire. Totally homoerotic. I'm too tired to google it, though.
Submitted by misslainey on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 8:24pm.
I'm sorry, but I have never gotten into this series, so I don't understand all the mass hysteria about a chick and some vampires and werewolves. Really? Is it really that titillating?
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i think you just haven't fully grasped the concept of pure brooding, gothic, angst... in a 90210 kinda way... have a lobotomy, and then you'll be first in line for tickets!... HA!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Thank u Jesus the first clip showed and the other didn't on my phone. I thought she was annoying up to the point when she said, "stop crying u twat"!!!
What!!! Love her!! She has to be at the premier in Hollywood or NYC!!! Or the island!
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 9:09pm.
Submitted by misslainey on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 9:00pm.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 8:40pm.
http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight
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That was frickin' hee-la-ree-us! Thank you.
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You are welcome! Do check out more of The Oatmeal's stuff - funny shit.
All humor aside tho, I still get a bit sore when I think of all the bank that's being made - and all the accolades these ***MEDIOCRE at best*** actors are getting over this pap.
I just watched "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" the other day and was blown away anew. One set, a handful of actors, ZERO special effects, and a story dealing with strictly human problems. Fucking BRILLIANT. They just don't make them like that anymore (I can't believe I just typed that trite phrase but there it is).
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Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is without a doubt, my favorite movie ever! Love it. Even though I'm black, the family reminds me so much of my father's family, it's unreal. Even their name--Pollit is written on my dad's birth certificate, but crossed out. Elizabeth Taylor and Paul Newman are just--resplendent--only word I can think of.
I love Tennessee Williams. Nobody can tell a story about crazy Southerners with secrets like he could. I also liked The Glass Menagerie. I think I may need to reread that.
Breaking Dawn's Vagina Open. If Dawn was a virgin. As most Twihards are. Except the cougs.
tonicbitch on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 9:17pm.
Did RPatz get a face transplant? Wtf? He looks like a Kardasshian now?
You know what is sad? The only thing that popped into my head when you said, "face transplant"...was this...:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119094/
Tango Foxtrot right? UGH
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Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 9:16pm.
I think you just created a new religion.
_ _my lame siggie_ _
My funky old website is still on Waybackmachine.org:
http://web.archive.org/web/20031203184830/http://www.darkseraphim.com/ds...
Download my 3 free fonts:
http://www.dafont.com/ang.d1481
Breaking Wind. Taylor's just pissed because he planned to marry RPattz.
Did RPatz get a face transplant? Wtf? He looks like a Kardasshian now?
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
misslainey on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 8:24pm.
I'm sorry, but I have never gotten into this series, so I don't understand all the mass hysteria about a chick and some vampires and werewolves. Really? Is it really that titillating
I don't get it either, but, I grew up in a home where rock music was 'satan speaking in reverse' and 'horror movies' were soul stealers and yet I partook of the latter plenty and THEN some because of aforementioned Margaret Brigman bitch I survived.
Why can't we have some GAY vampire movies? The original vampire movies were FLAMING gay if you paid attention. All of this 'hetero' vampire crap is a lie and a joke.
_ _my lame siggie_ _
My funky old website is still on Waybackmachine.org:
http://web.archive.org/web/20031203184830/http://www.darkseraphim.com/ds...
Download my 3 free fonts:
http://www.dafont.com/ang.d1481
Bram Stoker, Sheridan le Fanu and Tanith Lee are all stabbing themselves and rolling in their graves at this absolute incomprehensible fuckery. Mina Harker just bludgeoned her journal to death, and Jack Seward is now trapped in his own asylum sharing flies and spiders with Renfield.
I cried laughing at the cats doing he backstroke thing. OMG!!!!
And yes, Anne Rice's vampires were so much more interesting than this pile of fucking crap. I can understand the attraction to Lestat. To Edward? No.
Submitted by Hello Kitty Ho ... on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 9:11pm.
I confess to watching the movies ,but only with the Rifftrax on it...it makes it watchable.
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oh my god yes...rifftrax is a riot. It also makes you realize just how astoundingly BAD the movies really are.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
I don't think I've laughed harder in all my life. That they call this utter shit a "saga" is incredible.
Somebody please fucking shoot these people.
I confess to watching the movies ,but only with the Rifftrax on it...it makes it watchable.
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"LARGATE DE MI CASA, PINCHE PUTA! " -MK
Hahahahaha love the "bitch your pancakes look fine to me" tag. MK you saucy bitch.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by misslainey on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 9:00pm.
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 8:40pm.
http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight
*********************************************
That was frickin' hee-la-ree-us! Thank you.
---------------------------------------------------
You are welcome! Do check out more of The Oatmeal's stuff - funny shit.
All humor aside tho, I still get a bit sore when I think of all the bank that's being made - and all the accolades these ***MEDIOCRE at best*** actors are getting over this pap.
I just watched "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" the other day and was blown away anew. One set, a handful of actors, ZERO special effects, and a story dealing with strictly human problems. Fucking BRILLIANT. They just don't make them like that anymore (I can't believe I just typed that trite phrase but there it is).
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"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs
So from what I gather from the trailer, sex with a vampire will tear the walls off a room?
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"LARGATE DE MI CASA, PINCHE PUTA! " -MK
Wow. How do you get so ampted up over a movie?? That was a full on " My Mom is dying" My Better Half was just dxed with cancer" or similar kinda breakdown.
I have not watched a single one of the damn movies and didnt read the books either, so now i m like: Is it THAT damn good? Or is this bitch just THAT fucking crazy?
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"I also have felt the nose heat of the man meat."
SFRB, 04/26/11
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http://www.youtube.com/user/beeper246#p/a/u/2/BrO86m4qAE
Submitted by johnnysgirl on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 8:40pm.
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It seems Ms. Meyers has hit upon the magic formula for mesmerizing tween girls and older women who are basically arrested development cases.
The Oatmeal explains it pretty well:
http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight
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That was frickin' hee-la-ree-us! Thank you. I cannot tell you how many 40+ friends of mine just go apeshit over this series. They're like, 'I never read books before, but I've read all of these'. Like it's friggin' "War and Peace".
I'm sorry, but at my age, romance is not some sensitive dude who cries at my innermost thoughts. Romance is the dude who carries in my groceries. Or changes my oil. Maybe I'm just cynical at 43.
God Kristen Stewart is BEYOND annoying
www.theinfamouslife.com
www.twitter.com/so_infamous
The movies and the books suck hardcore ass. Give me some Anne Rice any day over this trash.
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""There is no chicken or egg. It's molecular." - Lady Gaga
*Wonders if Dawn French has seen this*
Submitted by Stan Dup on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 8:29pm.
BITE ME!
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Actually, a super fun vampire romance novel by Christopher Moore. WAY BETTER than this! And not so long!
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
Submitted by misslainey on Sun, 06/05/2011 - 8:24pm.
I'm sorry, but I have never gotten into this series, so I don't understand all the mass hysteria about a chick and some vampires and werewolves. Really? Is it really that titillating?
--------------------------------------------
It seems Ms. Meyers has hit upon the magic formula for mesmerizing tween girls and older women who are basically arrested development cases.
The Oatmeal explains it pretty well:
http://theoatmeal.com/story/twilight
..............................................................................................
"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs
I pretty much see twilight only through the little snippets they show at awards shows and seriously what the hell is going on on that mess, shes kissing the other guy now, the teen wolf? I thought she was married to the hunky vampire? oy.
Needs more stardust.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic7_Dl3lGoA
THIS CRAP!!!!!!!!!!
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"House arrest sounds like a dream!" - hermit crabs
Haven't seen any of this crap - never will. Seems pretty white trash-centric, to me.
BITE ME!
Lmao, the visuals in your writing MK make me vomit and laugh at the same time.
Ozzie and Sharon have a basement baby, too?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmYWGjFFs4k
LMAO@"Don't get naked!" LOLOLOLOL! Poor thing.
"I thought we would all be virgins together forever!"
♥ Threadkilla!
EveryStrangersEyes long lost baby video uncovered!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAQra8wJ0ws (thanks sugarfreeredbull:)
Girls watch porn too!:
http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6478389/girls-watch-porn-too
If they don't have the vampire-teeth caesarian and the pedophile engagement, I will be fucking enraged.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Does she finally get laid now?
I'm sorry, but I have never gotten into this series, so I don't understand all the mass hysteria about a chick and some vampires and werewolves. Really? Is it really that titillating?
I'd love to make her dreams come true: a night of carnal passion with Robert Pattinson.