Below is the first trailer for Twilight: Breaking Hymens with a Typhoon of Cooch Cream, which I’m sure millions of Twihards have already tried to legally marry on the Internet so that they can scoot naked all over in it in good conscious.
And above is the Twihard of all Twihards, Nutty Madam, giving her reaction to this mess while she’s watching it. Nutty Madam took a break from answering phones for Dr. Fleischman to give a full body quivering orgasm that probably made her chair break the same way RPattz broke that damn bed. Yes, Nutty Madam turned up the fuckery for melodramatic purposes since she’s an Internet star now, but still. In a matter of minutes, bitch’s face is taking us from “falling in love with a puppy” to “watching a puppy get disemboweled.”
And then when they get to the sex shit, lord. I bet Nutty Madam’s cats were doing the backstroke in a river of panty pudding below her.
Seriously, that shit should be the real trailer.